Once the cake was sliced into the warning signs were there. A radioactive coloured Battenberg offers a chance to run and hide, the rest of us, who fail to notice will fear the full excess of whatever else is to come next.

Mum has gone, Taxi tom took her home, and the Casual Racism and Really Loud telly ceased immediately. Her hearing has become really bad, she has to clarify every single diction, every word spoken to her by us, me, whoever, must be clarified; like butter. (But only because there is such a thing, I have no idea what it is). Its tough, she’s on her own and if she loses her hearing then that will one the worst. We’ve agreed to visit the Doc to ask for a hearing test, and as far as the order of things to doing go in Mum’s life at the moment, I think its moving up the charts, not right to the top, thats sutiull held by the lawn mowing and hedge cutting (which costs a fortune) Dad would be pleased, I guess, but Dad would also probably see things realistically and suggest clearing away some of the emotional debris to reset and clear things up, slim things down.

I think I possibly completely understand my Mum, I think she needs to make various decisions, decisions which previously pre Dad’s death she wouldn’t have had to make. I’ve probably said before, the biggest decision Mum had to make post birth of me and pre death of Dad was what hat to wear at Ascot. So for her to come to terms with the situation she is in, with friends passing on with alarming regularity, I sense she feels she is on some sort of borrowed time, not to live, she’s got plenty of miles left in the tank, but time until she has to decide what the fuck to do, to try and decrypt this particular life stage, with power fading and hearing growing more distant. I don’t envy her, I’m here to help, but I want her to make her own decision, I will do everything I can to help, but when you’re 150 miles round trip away, its tricky, and if the hearing goes, well what happens then to a technophobic octogenarian with no understanding of the internet and AAA batteries.