First time in a while but think its about time for me to compete in  Lord Fandango’s story starter this time it starts with this (as opposed to any other time when it starts with that).

Irene looked up at the clock and saw that it was five minutes past seven.

Just time for her to get down to the market to get the extra squashy squashes and turning tomatoes. Tuesday had been dull since the last messiah impersonator had gone for crusifiction, but now there was a new kid on the block, called himself Sejus and he came from Pontifract. First time for the Northern town, under represented in messiah copycats thus far. 

Anyone found impersonating “The Lord” especially with a camp voice was bound to cause interest and since the last time anything exciting had happened was the Monkey pretending to be the mayor, then this was to be a full house. Irene shuffled down to the market square where the actual mayor (who admittedly looked slightly Chimpy) was holding court, arms aloft holding the gold plated banana.

“If anyone has any reason why this heathen, can not be subject to a severe splattering of rotten vegetables this day then please call; out now….”

Silence, a shuffling of crocs and someone lit a cigarette.

“Get on with it” shouted an actual monkey dressed in typical splatter apron.

“SHUT UP” shouted the Chimpy Mayor. “In which case we may begin”

A rotten cucumber still in its plastic sheath spiralled through the air at the Mayor. 

“Stop that, stop that…”

Sejus, do you have anything to say for yourself on this day of most wretched of deceptions?”

Being gagged he couldn’t really reply, but shook his head in defiance.

“In the power vested in me, I order you… On Your marks… Get Set… GO!!!”

And with that the fruit and veg started flying…