I’m willing to agree with the Scientists that a blackhole exists in the cosmos because they have seen the hole in space where it should be and so it should be so. But it must also be mentioned that I believe pretty much everything the scientists tell me because they are smarter than me, and it would be impossible for me to argue the toss. Talk to me about maps and well we may have a different discussion.

But on the basis that I lost my wallet for the second time since June last year; 8 months. The difference this time reader, was I was sober, as a judge, with a belly full of zero alcohol San Miguel and Jalfrezi as I left a curry house around 10:15 on Friday Night (If you know, you know) So having being able to trace my steps, pinpoint exactly where I lost my wallet; between the front door of the curry house and my car which was across the road. Then I fail to see that Black holes can not exist within our Earthly realms as well as the celestial. I have cleared my car many times, checked my jacket many times, called the curry house and a pub I visited on Saturday, which upon further detective work, namely my brain gradually revealing to me what has happened recently and where, remember I wasn’t drunk. So it’s either Earthly, and I’m going to call them, “Coloured Holes”, expertly disguised to fit into our lives, swirling around silently and purposely positioned below head height to squirrel away wallets to “the other side” or Pixies, and everyone knows all the Pixies live in Iceland, unless they’re on holiday. Robbing innocent folk taking their family out for a Friday night curry, the bastards.  

 No one has found my wallet and tried to spend on the cards, or to use my driving licence which I’ll have to renew again, for the second time in 8 months. And as I go about my daily business I often think to myself if I’m slightly losing it, or going a bit “Doo Lally” as my Mum kindly says of her friend P when she talks to her on the telephone. Christ I hope not.