Election fever is hotting up, with the Tories telling us that a labour super majority would be awful for the country and that within 100 days a labour government would bankrupt the country. I seem to remember 42 days of Liz Truss pretty much did that. Flailing around like a hose pipe unable to shut off spraying shouty empty words onto the ground, quickly absorbed and forgotten, probably quite good for the plants; like manure. In a way it’s like waiting for Christmas, in that ultimately it’ll be disappointing but who knows maybe what we need is a dull Prime minister who seems quite like he’d pass a job interview.

I get irritated by people who don’t vote, those who say they are all the same, if you don’t vote then you don’t get to complain, and if you do then maybe you could move to Europe, unless of course you voted for Brexit in which case you’re fucked and you have to stay here until you die, grumbling daily about how this is shit and that is shit. Just vote. The kids are going to vote mainly due to superb parenting on our part but also because I think they see that its the only way to affect change, one day we’ll have some sort of socialist state and then maybe we will be a little happier, things will be a little fairer. If the rich don’t like it, then sadly they will also have to fuck off, unless of course they voted for Brexit and then they will have to stay here (but of course they won’t, With their money and their brogues.

I spent a thoroughly splendid weekend with my friend J, who has just taken ownership of a house near Longleat, beautiful part of the world, fine pubs and a restaurant he works at who gives him 50% off all bills… I shall be visiting again in my inimitable scrounging style, anything for a free lunch. I had a dentist’s hands in my mouth today telling me Ive got slight Gum disease and this means the bone disappears and this in turn means the teeth wobble, fall out and I’ll have to liquify my food. All the while my back was getting sweatier and sweatier, until I pleaded for a local anaesthetic to numb the pain, I’m such a wuss, and now have to have tiny brushes which fit between teeth as well as my electric brush and also some mouth wash which I must have twice a day but not when I’ve brushed my teeth, so my plan for the next 2 weeks is to not leave my bathroom for fear of a gummy smile sometime in the future, i’ve got to give up sweets, cigarettes and crisps (crisps were my idea) but i’ve decided to keep the crutch of alcohol, just for emergencies. Christ I need a holiday, I’m exhausted, generally, and my Mum has just started feeling poorly, so that means more trips down the M42, M6 and M1 to rural Leicestershire. Roll on Holiday time. The trip to Turkey is on the horizon.