June 25th 2018

Dear Diary…

Don’t panic I’ve so far resisted the pretend addressing of a diary under the pretext of having someone who will listen to me and my warbles. I know you are listening, but maybe I need to sex it up a bit to get some more interest. So here goes, strap yourselves in folks.

I’ve been neglecting the woodland blog somewhat I feel lately so I’ve got some specially sexy Bee porn for you all; check out the arse on this one, oooh super sexy, see the pollen on its legs from the latest Bee orgy they all get involved in after the nectar fuelled waggle dance back in the hive. They think no one can see what they’re up to but there do exist certain voyeuristic sections of society, who, under the guise of science, hide cameras inside these hives of debauchery and see them dance themselves into an erotic frenzy like the disciples of Bacchus, Nectar is their drug. Shame on you Spring watch; perverts all.fullsizeoutput_140f

I once bought a bag of Bee pollen at a festival, the vendor told me I would get a real buzz from it! To be fair I was slightly squiffy anyway having just been to an insect circus where I saw wasps riding bicycles and beetles teaching a classroom full of ladybirds. I might be wrong but I reckon those places, the insect circuses, are purely for the entertainment of the festival fucked. Anyway the I took the bag of bee pollen along with my bag of dominos to an outside bar and we played and guzzled, handing out the bee pollen to friends first and then anyone I could persuade to take some off me as the bag was lasting a long time and what sort of weirdo walks around a festival with a bag of bee pollen; it was getting in the way of the Dominos.

In woodland news, the greenery is really starting to take over, theres a few woodland verge flowers but the predominant colour seems to be a very verdant green at the moment, everything is tall and bushy. fullsizeoutput_1412

In other news, C had a job interview; it went very well and she’s got a follow up meeting on Thursday so fingers crossed, it was pointed out to her that as she will be going a little more part time that she may want to join the chaps for coffee on occasion. I’ll let C think up an excuse to get out of that one, on a weekly basis! Good Luck C, all fingers and toes are crossed for you but here you are fact fans; Undisputed fact of the day; Allegedly if you cross more than one set of fingers they cancel each other out; The trick therefore is to cross odd numbers of body parts. For example one crossed is good, two is bad, so three is good, four is bad, and so it goes on. Summing up, only cross odd numbers of body parts, do not smash mirrors, walk under ladders or act like a twat when out and about, bad luck will certainly come your way.

Oh and N has become a gimp but only part time, the hours are long and the pay pretty poor so I’ve heard.

Potentially we could have another Wednesday morning curry cook off at M’s house if he can get hold of some goat in the next couple of days. The recipe I shall definitely post, its lush and whilst many Jamaicans deny the Jamaican Goat curry I have cooked is not in anyway resemblant  to the dish of that name, it is still delicious. What’s in a name anyway?


One comment

  1. after last weeks slap up curry debut .. Wednesday morning curry cook off at M’s house if he can get hold of some goat in the next couple of days. .. however i was advisen Monday its closed.. hay ho! still another day to get foraging


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