I drive south, my friend drives north and we meet in the middle; Bristol. Usually awe see a band but today we went out for a barbecue meal at a sort of BBQ themed place, can’t remember its name, thats not important. We sat on the inside looking at the quayside but not sitting outside for some bullshit reason. The waiter mentioned if we sat outside they would have more customers and thus make more money, the size of the kitchen was the issue, it seems size does matter in catering circles.
The burger was ok, the ribs also ok, not enough sauce and a little cold, I guess we were sweating our nuts off in there and so tepid food was to keep us cool, safety first eh chaps?
There were 3 of us who have known each other for a long, long time and so predictably the conversation made its way to toilet humour and toilet habits. I’m not embarrassed to say that I quite often sit down to have a wee, it’s called a lazy piss to give it its technical term. Mainly it occurs at night time when I’ve got time on my hands or am tired having woken from my slumber and so I can afford to sit down in the dark and try not to wake up. Interestingly 2 out of the 3 of us found we spend more time doing this, this must be a function of getting older, I think I’ll ask my Dad if he was the same, that’ll be an odd conversation. Another contributing factor is my wife, who has very pleasingly placed a crossword book on the window sill next to the loo; I love crosswords, she does too and so Kudos to her for inspiring us to spend our toilet time exercising our brain. The effect of this move has also persuaded me to spend a little more time in the morning sat on the throne. I’ve reached the time of my life when I’m actually enjoying to spend more time on the loo, which now that I have just read that back to myself makes me think what an odd person I’m becoming, the kids are in good hands for idiocy training, (What Dad’s do best!).
I’ve realised as I enter middle age, it’s the little things which alter lives. One of the most earth shattering contraptions to come into the house in recent years is the slow close toilet seat, truly a wonder on par with the pyramids at Giza and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, until it breaks of course and thus needs replacing but we won’t go into that as I have spent a year or so avoiding to do so!