August 3rd 2018

My son turned 10 today and so by my reckoning this day marks 48 years of joint parenting. The maths (Notice to Americans, it is not called Math) is as follows.Daughter is 14 years old, son is 10 years old. Thus total parenting years is 24, because there is a Mrs T this figure must be doubled giving a total of 48 years. This is the kind of Maths (again Americans) which would be applied to businesses world wide, so it is being applied here, come November we will be celebrating our Joint Golden Looking after Children anniversary. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.


He got a television which enables him to have a telly in his room, meaning we can watch what precious little there is on and he gets to ask me to play fortnite in his room on his telly. I got my first kill and reached #23, whatever that means. Its been a wonderful day full of fun and laughs and only a few of his mates because everyone is on holiday, so also it was a relatively cheap and happy day. One thing I will say however, on a serious note and not at all libellous as it is entirely correct, is that Pizza Hut is utter shite, really awful and full of  folk desperate to take advantage of the eat as much shit as you can between noon and 3pm and swig down as much strawberry flavoured flavouring in a revolting fizzy drink as you can. Advice to you all is avoid the place at all costs, its just not worth it; it’s a heart attack and stroke factory.

We visited a large  floating inflatable water park type place with his mates, the sky was grey but warm and it looked like a riot to me, I chose not to enter for personal reasons and for not being arsed, the kids loved it! After Bulgaria I will return with my budgie smugglers. The photo shows literally not the half of it.

Our resident Professor of Botany and all things Floral came to visit with his young daughter for a couple of days too which involved mainly drinking at a wonderfully pensioner filled pub, “I was breathalysed outside your house maybe 20 years ago, he had to let me go of course, bloody machine was broken!” Dr S., myself and our children took a ride on a little phut phut boat which we hired up the Severn and then back down, pausing only to turn around in circles and panic when we approached the overhanging willows. We also played crazy golf which is neither crazy nor golf, really. But £10 worth of time spent trying to count everybody’s scores, my daughter scored 3 holes in one, 2 of them when I wasn’t’t really looking, but I trust her and so the score stands.

I’m bushed and have to work on the Friday fictioneers which is proving a bit tricky this week, check out my blog tomorrow for the tale.


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