January 29th 2018


January’s a bitch, there’s always too much month at the end of my money. But I guess all of us are in the same boat. No! I’m wrong, many people are not in the same boat, and some of them seem to be the ones who are running our country, some of them are granting ferry contracts to ferry companies without boats, (see earlier blog post, sometime in January).

In Ministry news C is still not with us, she is with a sore back, and as many of us know a sore back is a horrible thing to have and so we wish her well, plus I’m walking Hattie and she doesn’t half tug! But in seriousness Benny and Hattie are so close, they love walking upto the woods, to their favourite place on earth, if only life were this simple for us.

With the Lego man gone, I think its time for some new blood (metaphorically speaking) and so we will be introducing some new characters into the woods. A new year requires change and god help anyone who steals the new folk, this is a public place, this much we allow, but not a place which tolerates any kind of criminality. Unless it is done by us, who are, as I’m sure you have realised, above the law of the woods, because, you guessed it we make the law.

  • Thou shalt not steal or pilfer any plastic figurines or rubber folk, what ever size.
  • Thou shalt not touch the artwork, we’ve got cameras on you.
  • Thou shalt not let children off the lead.
  • Fungi shall now come under the jurisdiction of C; the Queen of Fungi.
  • Humour shall be under temporary charge of N’s identical twin sister N.
  • M shall be in charge of nonsense and coffee suggestion and clandestine operations.
  • D shall be in charge of this, and thus give the impression of overriding control.
  • No one shall be allowed in the woods, Mon – Fri, 8-9am, without prior permission written of verbal.
  • Woodland planning and nonsense will be between the hours of 8-9am Mon – Fri.

Theres loads more but these are some of the rules and laws, any questions can be addressed to me via this web site, and I will put it to the ministry in due course.


As an aside, someone, an art terrorist has added a metal rod of sorts to the installation, we like it, so on this occasion all bets are off regards messing with the art.

You’re twisting my melons man.

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