FOWC: Awesome

Will I do the Fandango?

I will this evening, after a brief hiatus I have returned to the brilliantness which is FOWC: Awesome.

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Well what a day and what a challenge to think of how to get the word Awesome, into my post today. Ha, I’ve done it but not totally in a cheating type of way.

I thought i’d try and put into context what is definitely NOT awesome today in England, and so i’ve made a little list of the antithesis of awesome things we’ve seen today.

We had the continuing saga of that idiot, apparently in charge of the free world, bumbling his way around Blighty telling us that nothing is not up for grabs, including the wonderful and unique NHS! Well, i’ve got news for you Trump, it’s not for sale; Fuck off.

Secondly I had a “Ferrero Rocher” (FR), well 3, for the first time today. The reason I had 3 was that there were 3 different varieties in this monster unnecessary single use plastic presentation case my daughter was given by her boyfriend. They had been hanging around for a a few days so I asked and she granted my wish. The verdict, I am going to deliver in a not dissimilar style to a voter in Leicester last week at the European Elections. Here goes.

  • Brown FR: Really Wank
  • White FR: Also Really Wank
  • Gold FR: Less Wank than the previous two, but Still Really Wank

If I had to pick one it would be the gold one, but I wouldn’t find myself in that position ever again. Truly awful sweets for the socially bereft imbecile.

Another first today is the also pretty weak “Sleep” tea boasting spiced apple and vanilla with camomile and passion flowers. Sounds awesome? It’s not. A passion flower is not a passion fruit. The little packets each sleeping bag (pleased with that one) come in are again, unnecessary, made from plastic and really hard to open; and it made my teeth feel weird. I really only like Yorkshire tea; full fat milk but no sugar, which is how its meant to be drunk, but of late i’ve been stealing a few cups of liquorice and peppermint, a good punchy flavoursome drink which even the most professional smoker can get a taste from.

I’m off to watch Vikings now, series 1, which is officially awesome. And will snuggle up to Mrs T with my little electronic smoking device fuelled by wild berries, like a fucking child.

If there’s any Americans reading this, please can you keep your president under control and over there, thank you.

 

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