3 and a bit weeks in and I’ve finally decided to make a patio, a big one, so we can get some good furniture to sit on and enjoy the summer which promised much weather wise and nil excitement wise. Maybe as a result of the Pink moon which appeared yesterday or the day before. So like a B&Q vampire awoken from a DIY slumber I started to dig and dig, move soil from A-B and then onto C via A again, finding bricks, rocks, concrete, metal bucket handles, lego and roots, tons of roots, weeds have this whole network underground which goes largely unseen, its astonishing that a patch of largely unused weed free ground has so much going on. I’m planning on moving the compost bin too, and who would have realised that at the bottom of the bin is really fine soil. This gardening lark is full of wonder and surprises.

So I logged onto the B&Q website, I say logged on but in reality I had to join a queue to log on, there was 333512 people in front of me, a third of a million people waiting to log on, to peruse the delights of DIY heaven, the online version of the laminated book of dreams that is the Argos catalogue. 2 hours later and i’m in, I know exactly what I need, technical terms and the latin scientific names for MOT Type 1 aggregate, I was all over it, having been on standby for 2 hours which gave me time to consult my DIY Oracle from 6, New Inn Lane, for all your DIY questions. To cut a long and incredibly dull story short, 5 out of my 6 items were not available for either delivery or collection. All I can say is that I tried desperately hard to sort out some actual manly man type stuff, but failed due to something beyond my control, which seems to be happening a lot of late.