“MUM, MUM, QUICK” screamed my daughter, (my ears pricked up) “THERES A MOTH IN MY ROOM” ( I relaxed, moths are not my thing).

“DAD, DAD, QUICK” screamed my daughter (Mrs T’s ears pricked up) “THERES A SPIDER IN MY ROOM” (Mrs T relaxed, Spiders are not her thing)

Mrs T, it seems, has been designated moth catcher whereas I take care of the spiders. Its a natural falling into place of pest control. I don’t kill the spider, Mrs T doesn’t kill the moth, as far as I know, she probably thinks the same. I would probably kill the moth as I can’t stand airborne insects, anything that can bother me in three dimensions, or rather away from solid surfaces I can not abide. Its odd that I really like birds but don’t think I could touch one if it came into my lounge or down my chimney, some do; I know it’s mad.

So in conclusion I would like to say that from this day forward I would like to be called Spider Simon and Mrs T; Madame Moth. Until further notice.

That’s enough, you can stop now.