Fandango and Ragtag, together in perfect harmony like ebony and ivory. Can’t believe were entering the ninth week since the pubs shut, my 7 times table didn’t go this far for a minute and had to double check, disbelievingly past the most pleasing of the seven times table, “seven, sevens are forty nine” I get a kick out of that, always have, don’t know why, maybe the sevens was the hardest for me so to say with confidence that 7 * 7 is indeed 49 is pleasing.

I made a very expensive trip to the supermarket yesterday, and had a chat with the checkout lady, this is sort of how it went, and it made me smile. My dialogue is in italics, the checkout lady not so.

What happened to the ginger biscuits?  Has there been another flood?

Pardon?

You know like the 2015 flood of the factory where all the ginger biscuits are made. There was a nationwide shortage, no one had any Ginger nuts.

Yes, I remember, it was a stark reminder that if McVitties can not produce the goods, then all we’re left with is the artisan biscuit bakers, holding us to ransom, with vastly overpriced, and to be honest overrated ginger biscuits.

I found out at the last shortage that McVitties produced both the own branded Ginger Nuts and the Tesco’s branded ones, as well as all the other supermarkets branded stuff; Sainsbury’s, Coop, Morissons, Asda, not Aldi or Lidl, they’re different. This is the reason for the drought.

So is there none on the shelves then?

Only the McVitties ones and a pack or two of the artisan ones; but even the McVities are about 3 times the price of the Tesco’s own brand and theres no real difference.

There is; the ginger grain is slightly more compacted in the own brand biscuit. Less exposed surface area, therefore less ginger taste.

It’s marginal, i’d say.

Mr McVittie is sat in his big ginger house on his ginger throne counting his money as the ginger nuts machines are producing biscuits at full pelt, stockpiling the packets.

Filling up warehouses outside Runcorn, ready to flood the market. 

A ginger Tsunami.

Have the other biscuit manufacturers no leverage to persuade Mr McVittie to provide a smoother supply line of Ginger nuts?

Nope, he’s got a monopoly, the monopoly and mergers commission will be looking into it after Covid 19 finishes, but right now he’s got us all by the short and curlies, he’s making hay while the sun shines.

But does he not realise how much we all love a ginger snap, nut, biscuit? Has he no empathy for the common man’s/woman’s biscuiting needs?

Nope, he’s a tyrant. That’ll be £184.24 please.

Christ, thats a big one, I’ll send my wife next time.