Vendor Blues:Day 6


 Well this has been short lived, the House is sold, in about 5 days! We had an offer which we accepted yesterday and so now its all becoming very real. We could be in the new house which is a brand new house by Christmas all things working in our favour. I wont bore you with the details suffice to say that we all stand in a very favourable position and I am most definitely a glass 3/4 full type chap even in these times, because I love to be disappointed should things go tits up. The fact that I like a moan belies my actual attitude and my blind faith in assuming things will just “work out” will only amplify  the fall if the devils conspire against me.

Yep, we are absolutely stoked to be moving into a shiny new pin of a house with some cedar cladding which doesn’t need any maintenance, and everyones got a bathroom too, which will require cleaning. My son said he’s not going to clean his ever, the wretch. So two things; 

1) I still have to think of a new name for my blog, or maybe I don’t, please come to the Lion in Clifton, book a table for Tapas and wine, mask up until you get to the table and we can discuss at length. That will be my office, here’s hoping the publican isn’t a massive racist, but we will live in white middle England so I guess this is to be expected, I’m not racist but… (I’m not, I was making a point you muppets)

2) Where do I put all my records? This is the question, there are no shelves, there are no cupboards and we are going to have to get all these things, this is going to be a ridiculously expensive time, but  driving yourself further into debt at the expense of having places to put all our shit is pretty satisfying, the lounge is so huge that I’m threatening to bring back my leatherette bean bag. This has been met with looks of derision but you’ll see, i’ll win them round. 

3) Do I try and get really involved with village life and avoid becoming friends with the fascist farmers? Yes I think I do but I also will be growing chillis with a view to starting a chilli club and  I’m going to make gin in my still with a view to blind everyone in the chilli club and then I’ll steal everyones wallets. The cult continues. Thats it, the new name for my blog; “The Cult Continues” I’ll get loads of clueless followers with a name like that, I’ll get David Ike to do a regular column, the Clifton Conspiracies.

That was 3 things, I’ve got to cook supper.


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