Nov 2: Oblique Strategies

Today in the series; the new series which I am going to struggle with because theres so little time and so much to do (said someone mimicking someone who went before and said exactly the same) Nothing changes really, it’s all just a massive rehash.

Don’t Be Afraid to Do Things Because They’re easy To Do.


So in order to pacify my inner critic who never thinks anything is good enough, apart form on a few occasions when I’ve written absolute gold (if you’ve followed me you may have encountered them, but fucked if I can remember which ones they were). Swim in little fishes and search the Ministerial archives, i’ll leave the cataloging to the historians who wish to understand the workings of the village of Shrawley. But if they’re reading this, you’ve got a racist landlord and a huge amount of assumed power in certain circles. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??

So today, inspired by the sloes on the bush I’m about to give a lucid account of how to make some Sloe Gin, because, lets face it, from Thursday morning we’re all going to wake up in a different place. Britain goes into a second lockdown and there may be a New Old President in the White House, possibly definitely maybe less insane than the one we have at the moment. So get out there, forage in and amongst the hedgerows, rip open the flesh on your fingers and reveal your inner self to the Blackthorn, then hget a tetanus injection; countryside kills kids.

Pick a load of sloes, before the frost, then you have to freeze them, defrost them and proceed to the next step. OR Pick a load of sloes, before the frost, and then spread them out on the kitchen table and get your kids to prick each and everyone of them with a wooden cocktail stick (we’re in lockdown, theres nothing better to do. OR pick a load of sloes after the first frost and proceed to the next level.

The Next Level.

Add the sloes to a bottle of Gin, (not ready made sloe gin you’ll fuck it top) in a carafe with a cork or one of those jars with the rubber-sealed lid. Then add some sugar, use the force; too much and it’ll taste like cough mixture, too little and it’ll be better than cough mixture. My advice; little sugar is better than too much. My friend A and myself made some Damson Gin (the same but different) slightly before Christmas so it would be ready for Christmas. Some time in-between Christmas and New Year we had a Gin-off, turned out 50;50 some like it sweet, some don’t. It was like a Pastoral Gin Brexit. Which brings me back to the publican, the nob. Mine was too sweet and it put me off trying because I didn’t want to appear foolish in front of my friends (not really I’m just inherently lazy)

Sloe Gin; it’s simple when you know how and when you don’t.


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