Nov 5: Oblique Strategies

 Today’s Oblique Strategy is “Distorting Time”. It was all Brian Eno’s idea.

So much for doing one of these every day for the month of November; there was an election on, I stayed up late (well past 1:30am) and have been suffering since, yesterday a friend came over for curry and beer; i seem to have drunk all his resulting in both myself and Mrs T falling asleep in front of “Bake off”.

The whole election thing is insane, like nothing i’ve ever seen before and i’m sure Mr Fandango is setting his laptop alight, the keys melting as smoke rises from his fingertips as the Trump soap opera goes on and on.

“Stop the Count”, Biden’s instructs his supporters but with a letter missing

“Start the Count” shouts Trump as he sits on the floor in his Oval office, surrounded by toys and Crayons, paint scrawled drawings of cats on the walls and a suspicious smell of faeces permeates the stuffiness. I’m sure Trump has actively asked his “Space Force” to use the tools he thinks they have from watching Battlestar Galactica to make a time machine so he can distort the fabric of time to travel to his own mentalist utopia, where the Burger trees are blue and the skies are orange just before it rains Coca Cola. The floor a sticky sweet smelling mess of sugar, heart attacks and diabetes.

Lets hope that once this is all over maybe Alan Sugar (Host of British”The Apprentice”) can try for British Prime Minister and say to Boris Johnson and all his chums

“You’re Fired”


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