Things to do: The rebuilding of a Domestic Empire.

Happy New Year first of all, Dry January didn’t happen on the grounds of there being much to do in the New House. And since moving in we have had 16 days thus far with no effective internet, reliable wifi, any type of phone signal, television signal, preferring or rather having to rely on (in some folks’ cases) a pretty ropey dongle which tends to be shared uopstairs between the kids, my daughter being forced to stay up until 5 in the morning rather than face the wrath of your friendly blogger when she tries to draw me into the arguement she has with my son about sharing the dongle, one room and then the next. We, tha adults, are quite frankley sick and tired of whinging from morning till night about the poor quality of the Internet here. Might I suggest, as I have, trying or rather having to avoid the internet as much as possible, and read a book, a magazine, the back of a jar of marmite, or watch a dvd, which we have rigged up to the otherwise barren telly. Go for a walk, even better, take the dog. I know it’s cold but put a bloody Jumper on. I know you’re bored but I’ve made my suggestions and thats all there is too it. The fact that we’ve moved to the Nadir of Worcestershire’s rural backwaters in the height of winter, in the height of a global pandemic and at the time when government is debating wether its a good idea to reopen the schools.

Life, at the moment, if you look at it through the lenses I’ve just cut, can be seen to be pretty shit, the fact we’ve no Internet and phone reception is just the icing on the cake, meaning business to rebuild the domestic Xanadu we had in Shrawley by ordering tilers and floorers and painters and carpenters and phone engineers and bin men and heating technicians and loft conversion specialists and the snagging team made up from the leftovers of a pretty ropey bunch of booze soaked builders is a task and a half; mostly conducted from a car park 5 miles down the road where 4g and phone reception is amazing. Last week, I tried to change my address with my bank when I was going through a car wash, shouting and explaining what was going on, cunt cut me off after 25 minutes waiting. 

So yes, we’ve all got issues, but being bored, i’d say, is one of the least of my problems, and maybe it should be a state which we all have to go through. Lord knows I’ve spent hours in Airports and hours on Indian Railway Platforms and on really uncomfortable Night busses back in the 90’s to understand what boredom is, and to be able to cope with it. Maybe this will teach my kids boredom and how to cope with it, and I suspect were it that we didn’t get so pissed off with them whinging then the only way to stop it is to take them on a drive to Tescos, fucking Tescos! Wow, what a treat, and maybe this speaks for the state of their minds right now that a trip to Tescos is like a day at  Alton Towers.

UK is pretty much in familial Lockdown and we have to lump it, no friends to see, no pubs to visit, not even sure if I can go to work this week, as I haven’t thought about it in weeks. See you in April…


  1. Aha!
    Going through a car wash while dealing with the bank, clearly some kind of money laundering scam in progress.
    Good luck in getting your life sorted.
    I know how family can become disappointed when they discover you don’t have the same super powers from days past. (been there – done that). Let them get over it; leave them in a tent in the car park during the day so they can access the Internet with only corn beef sandwiches to eat until home time. Maybe that’s a little cruel – try chicken sandwiches.

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  2. Hi Dom.
    And Joe and kids I have two things to regale you with.
    It does amaze me I live in optimism but I still shock myself when I see the expression Dad I’m 19 can’t treat me like an adult… And for the next 5 weeks I discover how they look through coronavirus come back home to be in the bosom of the family with a slightly irritating turn that I’ve just got to farther up to I suppose …..,
    now on the second front.. can I invite you to cast your mind back do I hope the present experience of the tape deck!.. from memory it was made by Technics who I’m sure you are aware with the market leading audio department for the visual department of Panasonic television…bear with me no longer but I am listening to your despair but no internet and DVDs… I bought my mum quite splendid stereophonic VHS s recorder and player with the additional feature of a minor editing pack… It’s purchased that she enjoyed three times a year and proudly he said to me a couple of years ago… It still plays like new.. Dom Jo. and kids bear with me no longer I have a little memory.. Amazon and Oxfam of quiet fantastic VHSnext day delivery service in other words it’s almost as good as blockbusters past… Would you like me to bring you this child and adults entertainment center until you are connected to Netflix be great to hear that you’re all ok besides ….! love to all Mark

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