Shed.

A new shed set up in our garden today and a new quagmire created in the thick heavy clay which we have the misfortune to call a garden. Its like the outside of a changing room in the local park, you would have thought there’d have been scores of kids running in and out of the shed, getting sweets form the little kiosk inside and parents swearing as they tried not to spill their mud colour coordinated matching coffees, usually just mud but with more water, a sample from a stream with silt held in suspension, thats what footy coffee is like. And this is what our garden is now like, the rest is green and grassy but incredibly soft underfoot, like a future battlefield, I think we’ve got to wait till spring for it to dry out up here. These sort of gardens will never catch on, never become a meme for enjoyable relaxing in the hot tub. There’s a lot of garden thinking going on behind these bespectacled eyes at the moment I can tell you, and questioning why can’t things just work for us? We moved here to get away form DIY but at the moment the garden looks like the worst type of DIY but in a muddy sodden hurricane.

A few trees would probably solve some of the drainage issues, but that needs to be authorised by Mrs T, I’ve got s feeling February may well be the month to start the garden modifications. We need millions of slabs, tons of builders sand and cement and a new wheelbarrow, not a shitty plastic one this time, I’ve made that mistake too many times, I’ll, speak to my Friend Mr G down the road, he knows about wheel barrows, i’ve seen his and its a good one, reinforced metal and everything. There is one up near the site hut, dare I pinch it, to be fair the builders don’t know what the hell is going on half the time so I doubt they’d miss it. I’ll watch it and try and coax it down.

In other news, my daughter has failed to disclose train jumping activities completely truthfully leading to an escalated fine after a couple of failed attempts by Mrs T to sort out the issue. She spends most of the day in her pj’s on Teams college calls and drawing which I’m pleased about, she’s not taking Art but is very good at it. Its nice to have a talent like that. Son has been planking and doing sit ups and press ups a huffing and a puffing, and here was me thinking he was up to no good onPorn hub. And thats about it, the weather is shit, the lockdown is shit and we are desperately counting down the days until all this hideousness is behind us.

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