The Queue of which everyone is talking, has reached its 5 mile limit, and heavilly armed Stormtroopers are turning people away with a deadpan look on their faces. As some people try to take a second attempt at the coffin pass.

“Only one go each please”,

some of these people try for a second and third pass. There’s rumours in the queue of a four timer. And all the time the BBC broadcasts notes from the queue, peoples stories are all striking in their own way of being pretty much like the person who went before. This is the enforced mourning you’d expect in North Korea but these folk are throwing them selves gladly into the tail of the Queue. Unlike Pip Schofield and Holly (dead behind the eyes) Willoughby who’s mediocre daytime celebrity glow allows them to cut in, like some massive entitled Cunts. Who the hell do they think they are? This sort of behaviour really is going to split the country, First Brexit, then the politics of the Queue.

Queuing doesn’t cut energy prices last time I looked, and it certainly doesn’t help fuel the economy aside from the pop up blanket, death hat and tea shops peppering the Thames footpaths, probably.

Plus we’ve got a Nonce for a deputy king! Who’d have thought we’d have our own Nationally Celebrated Paedo raised to a position higher than either Saville, Gadd or Harris achieved. The Boy done well, his mother would be so proud.