Big day today, the day that the government bails out the energy companies and makes it sound like they’re doing us a favour because we don’t have to pay billions of pounds to heat our homes, when actually a few years down the line we’ll be paying the energy companies more just so they can afford to don the mink coats they promised theirselves.

So I’m sat in an electrical charging station in a industrial estate in Hereford, I feel dirty as theres no where to get a can of pop, and people tend to look down on a man who needs electric, what the fuck do they know.

And then suddenly after a statement by the new PM on how they aim to solve our Survival Crisis, without us having to eat the old, tough skin and pretty sinewy flesh, or maybe some of us can stock up, and offer yourself to the gods of the saucepan, with a chianti

So there we are, will we get a holiday tomorrow, or will it be yesterday? And can the holiday be claimed retrospectively, and how far back can we claim. If I have already booked a day off tomorrow, are my holidays variable in their application, and in which so can I return to the bar tomorrow evening with a full tankard of Creme de Menthe Frappe’ without fear of reprisals.

Is it a coincidence that HRH passes away only two days after Mrs LT went to shake her hand, not kiss the ring, and all of a sudden, the houses are complete, pretty much.

One should be be able to plough your own field, but also be prepared to frogmarch an offender to the Gaol, i’ll be waiting at the bins in Mcdonalds