Well i’m not sure what it is that stopped me creating so much, I used to write this bloody thing every day, I used to love creating, letting my mind run wild over the page, taking photos, telling tales and complaining about this, that and the other, now I seem to be mainly complaining. Is it a coincidence that we have a hapless feckless government who seem to have no clue how to do their daily duty to us, the electorate. To me it genuinely looks as though they are making it up, denying the truth; “No No No” when the truth is there for all to see, a gaggle of blaggers dressed as supply teachers without a hint of irony in there actual real words they send forth from their mouths. They are creating more fiction than I ever did, bending the truth to suit the agenda, Christ if it wasn’t so bloody apocalyptical they should all get a bloody medal: “Kwasi Fucked It” or smoother suitably pithy slogan, they’re fond of the three word slogan.
So I was talking to my good mate this evening, he’s a creator, not a creationist, he wouldn’t be a very good friend if he was one of those. He creates things and has had a tendency to deal in good will and making people happy, rather more than hard cash; which at times is a problem, but I think after listening to him tonight he seems to be in a good place, which is good to know, he’s not got much money coming in, but theres stuff on the Horizon which sounds hopeful, christ we could all do with a bit more dosh, but we don’t need the earth, and I’m certainly not asking for that. However I have been considering a move into another industry, loosely connected to mine, at the present time I will have to stay doing what I do, and hopefully work towards getting myself some extra work in the evenings and weekends. It’s do-able, but also I have a massive issue with putting myself out there, and also knowing who I should put myself out to. I’ve been doing what I do for decades now, and have, to a certain extent become institutionalised, like the inmates at Shawshank. Its hard to believe in yourself when management haven’t given any of us even the briefest of thanks or congratulations for a job well done, or at least not in any meaningful way, they tell us we’ve done a good job and thank us at meetings, then when we leave at the end of the day the empty words and crumbs of lunch are left on the carpet tiles of another cheap hotel or ropey conference centre.
So for me to make a break for the sunny uplands I need to work out tons of stuff, all complicated, all threatening to me, and will probably spend most of my time trying to come up with a snappy company name and logo, and then thinking i’ve cracked it at that. Thats generally what happens. I’m a creator, not a creationist.