This damn illness seems to go on and on, maybe i’ve got long covid, maybe the anti vaxers were right after all and this is my slow demise into an uncertain future or maybe, as my good friend P reminded me just yesterday, maybe i’m just fucking old! 51? thats not old, but it is probably about time for things to start rusting slightly, my wheels need realigning to use a mechanical vehicular phrase, which I never would, but now i’m past 51 then maybe I do. This is frightening, today I spent most of the morning at home on line complaining to no one who would listen or better care about some work I did, stuck in the pipes somewhere, not my fault, but the fault of the electronic gremlins which seem to be here to stay, and here to test me on a daily basis. I feel the only choice is to give up and not care, if only managers could see us now.

A questionnaire came out to “the field” and its due back on Friday, its been out for 2 weeks so far and I think 21% have answered, some may say this is a success because we’ve noting to complain about, others (in the real world) know the whole team has lost interest, and, as we used to years ago, are just waiting for Friday!  So being at home with a brief interlude into town to get my car with new tyres, they didn’t wash the thing, its filthy, we could do with some rain, but when I got back I sat down heavily, huffed and drank tea, the dogs outside chasing light sprites and shadow people in the garden, gagging for a walk as I attempt to get out before  twilight; its happening too frequently, my energy levels are woeful at best and I think I’ve got long covid.  

 Who  knows, but as I sit here staring at the bottom of my tea cup after yet another tea bag split, and try and interpret the tea dust, and feel for definite that my ears, my nose and my throat are all connected, just like Dr Owens said in Biology about 40 years ago. I knew it. My nose is tender to the touch, my throat rattles, and earlier I had ear ache; an affliction of the child. The drugs aren’t helping really they’re just suspending my illness on the peg until they wear off and then it hits me again. Come to think of it, my eyes are slightly sore occasionally too, this may have something to do with the online corses I’ve done today, Fraud, Bribery and Whistleblowing, not quite the Holy Trinity, more like The Three Deadly Sins, (apart from Whistleblowing, which is where the analogy fell flat)

I’m taking a trainee out tomorrow to teach him bad habits and short cuts, he doesn’t need to know half the stuff they’re taught these days, but upping the ante and asking for graduates for my job means they’ve got to add a certain amount of glitter to this particular turd. And so to bed, just necked some decongestants so should be fine until around 2 then I’ll tuck into the antihistamine and finally take a couple of paracetamol when I wake up. This is no way to be people, something has to give, I’m drinking juice and yogurt body, can you not see, good stuff is coming in, lets rinse.