I was a prefect at school, not a particularly good one but it gave me a certain immunity, and I didn’t like telling people off for doing things they shouldn’t according to the prosaic rules of the system. The system, the system. Well we are where we are, and as a result of being a prefect about 35 years ago I’ve decided to go back to the school where I was a prefect and become the headmaster. It’s about time, to be honest I’ve been a bit bored and fancied a change. I’ll probably jack it in after a year or so, get a job as head of a racing car company or something. Its a real bind to ascertain what i’m actually going to do when I grow up, one thing I know is I don’t want to be asked about all my past bad deeds, they are in the past and only a meek person would look backwards in order to bring up something which doesn’t really matter. No one died or got any poorer due to my poor prefecture.

What we need now, is ideas and after a brainstorm session we think we have come up with some solutions to work out how we can sort out this supposed mess (I can’t see the problem really, my Venison comes from Scotland, which last time I looked wasn’t a separate country, why doesn’t everyone get their game from Scotland?)  This is exactly the type of question that normal people, who probably don’t have time to ask, want answering. it is for this reason that we, have come up with a position to answer these quandaries, a kind of Minister of Common Sense if you like, someone to decide for us what we should or shouldn’t like, without having the embarrassment of looking a fool at dinner parties.