I can not be alone in thinking the company I work for has started macro-dosing mushrooms as far as the new direction is concerned, they really don’t seem to know left from right, up from down and real and make believe, the first two pairs its our business interests to know, the other is where we are standing at present. In some sort of hallucinogenic dystopia in which children pickled in Acid (LSD not sulphuric which would be awful) wield the power and common sense and rational thought disappear to be replaced with a load of slugs in a sock. Its mental.

Not only have I been working on an Operating system today which is rarely used anymore, but remains an integral part of the dusty machinery, no longer supported by the boffins and the advice as it creaks and splinters, buffering for 4 hours as it did for me as I tried to sort something relatively important out today was… log out and log in, in fact the first person I spoke to had no idea what I was talking about.

Maybe it’s my age, i’m starting to think it might be, and maybe i’m morphing into those chaps I used to work with when I first started here, in the chamber of lunacy. It happens, but as far as I know and can tell I’m not mad, and can hold a conversation about work stuff, its the back office, the tech, the bollocks and streamlining which is definitely not streamlined, its fat and inefficient, like a walrus on crutches and also on Acid (the LSD kind lest we forget)

But the good news is in our new year trumpeting fanfare of what we are to expect going forward and taking a glimpse into the future is apparently that we are to be powered by the six great things. I’m thinking Beer, The Arts, Tits, Cheese, Comfy Armchairs and Pickled Onion Monster Munch. I’m 90% sure thats what they mean, but I may have missed a teams meeting and so could be mistaken. Also Mac appeared back on the stage like a heavily choreographed robot  dancer, no word for a month or so, and suddenly he’s back having had a software upgrade, it took so long because the software isn’t supported anymore so the boffins just kept on trying, turning it off and on again… offanonoffanonoffanon…Yep the prick is back and this time he’s asking staff to provide him with times as to how long a task takes when he himself removed the ability to record how long that specific task took about 12 months ago. I think they must have wiped his memory or cleared the cache or something. We’re all told to do that of late; it’s the new way to fix everything without having to pay for software developers to come and tell us that somebody’s made a terrible, terrible error. 

Don’t look at me, I’m inconvenient, along with the rest of my sentient colleagues.