Its been a busy few days. Sorry for anyone waiting on my pearly words, but sometimes life deals you a duff hand and patience is a virtue, waiting is probably the best option. In short over the last 4 days I think i’ve driven at least 16 hours, none of it productive. My son had his prom this Thursday, and after a few pinkish summer afternoon drinks we followed the stretch Hummer down to the golf club and country club where the action was to happen. Arriving later than every other parent it seemed, led us to parking in the golf club car park and forced to walk along the private road down to the country club part past a queue of wanked over sports cars, and desperately disappointing but ultimately comfortable shiny saloons, revving and brumming like some sort of vacuous pick me X factor, but all the while I’m walking by and wondering why I didn’t concentrate harder at school, and had I done so, would I have been less bitter about all these cunts in their turtle necks in their turtle waxed cars. For the record I possibly like turtle necks, it’s been a long time, so can not confirm. 

 The Kids took to the Hummer loaded on sprite and vodka in plastic bottles whilst the driver showed them around a few of the the A roads of WR6 before they tumbled out, spat out onto the Hotel entrance dishevelled and looking slightly less smart than they’d started the journey, Bacardi in hand, soon confiscated due to the legally enforced and some might say draconian British Drinking laws, but to then experience 4 hours of food, presentations, speeches and laughter, the last 4 hours of secondary school prior to sixth form college. 

I’ve no idea what went on in those 4 hours, but I know it was election night and my desire to watch Truss and Mogg lose their jobs live on television was sadly trumped by the wishes of my son and his mates to be chauffeured to Linley Green Manor, with Eagles on the gate posts and an electric gate, operated by staff in side, which may son and his mate chose to climb over, a bag of clothes and a bag of cans in hand; pure class those two. It took me ages to find the Manor, I’m sure some people in this parish wouldn’t think me fit to wash their cars, that’s what Waves at Tesco are for.