Its Ancestry Man

After the recent revelations in Somerset, Britain of Cheddar Man apparently having brown skin, curly hair and blue eyes; our oldest ancestor in Britain, one of the earliest settlers. The fact that seems to be over looked is that he was made almost entirely of cheese.

In the Worcester Evening News today it emerges that out local ancestor might have been slightly more unsavoury;

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In other news, the floor in the kitchen needs a new coat of Slate protector, this may not seem much to you but there seems to be acres of the stuff and I’m moving tables with chairs on, sideboards full of glassware and crockery and filling the worktops with floor dwelling objects.

So for example, I can no longer get to the kettle, the cooker, the cutlery drawer, the plate drawer, the sink. I can no longer walk in to the kitchen from the hallway, the route I choose to take now is out of the lounge patio doors, into the garden and then back in through the kitchen patio doors. Theres one tile I can stand on as it doesn’t have a coating of the protector yet. This tile allows me to steal under the dining table, crawling on the brace underneath, turning, then performing a minor contortion and stretching up to emerge from the underside, whilst clambering up onto the work surface where I left a plate, some curry to defrost, a fork and some lentils in a packet for my dinner tonight. The return trip is exactly the same but different and in reverse, I haven’t bought my curry all the way back to the uncoated slate next to the patio doors yet, as I went in earlier on to turn off the radio, and forgot the curry. The curry trip will be slightly later.  Once I have the curry, plate, lentils and fork, I must leave the kitchen via the patio doors, back into the garden and go into the utility room through the stable door,  where the microwave is kept. After heating i’ll leave and lock the utility room door, bypass the kitchen, back into the lounge patio doors and guzzle my curry.

That is the evenings adventure explained, I just tried to draw a plan of the operation but got it all wrong, I won’t try again, the rugby is on and the slate will dry by about 9pm tonight.

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