Feb 26th 2018

I didn’t post yesterday due to an unforeseen seemingly ongoing issue. Saturday around lunchtime I purchased some slate colour enhancer because the kitchen floor was looking a little tired and with the family away on the other side of the country I took the opportunity to do this job. I had been putting it off for a while and actually it wasn’t nearly as tedious as I had initially imagined, and after what seemed like quite a short time, I got to put my feet up, crack on with the Saturday crossword, light the fire, watch the rugby (poor result) and watch a film, before Match of the Day and bed. The floor should be dry, according to the tin and thus my timing was if it required a second coat I could apply and the floor would be dry in the morning.

Not so, the floor was still wet, in fact it really didn’t look any different to how it was when I first applied the healing fluid. But it would be dry by the morning so I wasn’t unduly worried. The family would be back at about 7pm and i’d have cooked a roast chicken and opened a bottle of red to welcome them all back.

Sunday morning 8am, still wet, still sticky, still displaying a shiny demeanour, mocking me.


The cure all is a walk, and who better to go with than M and N, C was not around for the weekend, and today we walked a completely new route, I hadn’t been this way for years, N only last year but M never! The weather was fantastic, blue skies and warm as we walked through the woods next to the river, the wild garlic leaves out but no pungent smell yet, they are, after all, still young. The woods opened out to a wide field with a gnarled dead oak tree in the middle, statuesque, solitary and sentinel like. It felt  really as though spring was on its way, the signs were apparent.fullsizeoutput_1085

We came to the ancient sandstone bridge which was a crossing point over Dick brook, linking Astley and Shrawley. There is a steep path cut through a gulley which leads to Astley Church, we didn’t go to the church.



I thought this massive tree trunk looked like a whale, and the bark very much like the skin of the whale. The Woodland Whale. We walked back past the monastery (another day we shall discuss) showing M and N the walled garden which neither knew about (a goal for Leicester!) All this pleasantness had made me forget about the sticky floor for a while and upon reaching home the harsh reality that this damn stuff was not going to be dry for when everyone else arrived home this evening. I met friends for a couple of pints at 1pm and then came home trying to decide what to do next, i’ve borrowed a fan heater to go with the radiator and 2 other fans blowing the warm air around. I pottered for a while, maybe only 10 minutes before deciding i’d better go to the pub to get some food. It’s astonishing to me how much you miss a vital room when you loose one, none more so that the kitchen. Oh kitchen I shall never take you for granted again!

A pint and a bowl of chips was ordered and after those, and possibly 30 minutes spent, the day was lasting a really long time and I really didn’t want to go home and watch more telly or spend hours reading blogs, I had the bit between my teeth and was raring to get stuck into the pints. I called my mate, then other folk arrived and after 3 hours drinking I was well oiled. So much so that I fell asleep in the bath and dropped my book into the water, ruined it, naturally!

In Lottery news, we won again, this time it was C’s number which came up. So far 3 of us have won, only the 3 other numbers to go and we will have a clean sweep. We know we are never going to win the big one so we play amongst ourselves, its more enjoyable that way.

In other earth shattering news, N revealed he had actually met Superstars super contestant from the 70’s, none other than Brian Jacks, him of squat thrusts fame. I think he held up N’s t-shirt at his school. Feel free to contact me with other show biz news. For instance my school played rugby against a team who included in its number only bloody Geoff Capes’ son. Capes came to watch, he had a white Audi Quattro and was a bit of a dick if I remember correctly. Sorry Geoff, if you’re reading this.

The house opposite us is ready for occupation with the new family, things are starting to happen and my daughter was giving a running commentary as she watched the goings on as she spied on the people through her bedroom window sat in her dressing gown. I later told her if you want to spy its best to turn off your bedroom light!

Finally, and i’m sure you’ve stuck it this far, as I bet you can’t wait for the next instalment of the kitchen floor debacle.

It is still sticky, god knows how many hours it has been now but its heading towards 60 or there about. My wife was working from home today, I was out in the wind and snow flurries (the Beast from the East the tabloids are calling it), it was cold. I came home, worked for hours, made some microwave meals for supper, lit the fire and sat down to blog and suddenly realised the house is like a blast furnace, and the floor better dry otherwise, well otherwise nothing. There seems to be absolutely nothing I can do.

Good night people, thanks for listening to this.


  1. sometimes i think you are author, a photographer, an imaginationist of gold standard … I thought this massive tree trunk looked like a whale, and the bark very much like the skin of the whale.. and a a DJ!

    long may sail sir!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Boy, oh, boy. The pesky floor. I’m not sure what the rules are in the UK, but can’t you go back to the store and spill the rest of the sticky stuff onto someone’s head?

    But what a lovely walk came out of it! The pictures calmed me down. I can only imagine how serene the real thing must have been.

    You fool! Do NOT fall asleep in the tub!

    Liked by 1 person

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