March 22nd 2018.

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No filters again! There’s some crowds of bluebells waiting to comet here, Hardly any bramble cover to shield them from the view of walkers, who knows maybe the snow and shitty weather will actually delay them from flowering so that the bluebell walks are actually when the flowers are at their best rather than on the way out. Either way you look at it, when the general public come stomping all over our woods, taking soft focus picture saturated in purple and picking the wild flowers to plant when they get home ,(it won’t work, it never does, the blue bells like an ultra nationalist flower are;

Born in Shrawley, Live in Shrawley, Die in Shrawley (the awful t-shirt I saw this slogan on then said No Surrender, under a picture of a Bulldog in a Leicester City top, I can’t un-see that!)

But what is this? Viagra in the woods? Spring is the time for Hanky Panky, Courting and erm… Dogging. God I hope that craze never reaches our wonderful part of the world, and if any of you are thinking about it; Don’t. When we win the jackpot, we’re going  to wire up the whole wood, so you will be seen and then broadcast all across the web. You have been warned. Normal service has nearly resumed; D (me, is back after missing the Monday) M is back after visiting Devon on clandestine business, N is back after not walking on Monday due to Misty limping, C may be back tomorrow, looking after a poorly son.

We have plans for the installation which I touched upon, but it can not or will not be actioned or even talked about until the “Ministry” are back together. Be patient dear readers, this will blow your tiny minds. I know N is very excited and I know I am too.

Today we discussed many things, M removed his jacket, the frog spawn is still in the puddles and there has been debate over wether it will dry out or freeze, yes folks theres more bloody snow to come this time over Easter, whenever that is; seems to change position within the spring months year on year. Must be to do with the lunar cycles, could be a Pagan festival or something.  We talked about money using slang, such as Pony, Monkey and Grand. A Pony and  A Monkey are called so due to the pictures on old rupee bank notes of the denominations 25 and 500 rupees respectively, harks back to the Empire and the British Raj. A Grand (1000) has its roots in 15th Century French, when the Brits stole the word “Grant”, meaning large amount or more interestingly “imposing” or “important”. In the early 20th century a grand amount was seen as $1000 and so the criminal American underworld adopted its use. Blimey, there you go, I bet none of you have ever seen so many Undisputed facts of the day, we used Google.

M was away at a glues and solvents convention down in Devon, a sticky Bostik convention, a gummy Glow glue gathering, a Pandemonium of Pritstik, Locktite sat in the corner whilst Gorilla glue went about roaring at the Bostik girls. M painted very much a type of Formula 1 affair with the pits girls dressed up in next to nothing and free tubes of super glue being handed out hand over fist. Was it like this? I really can not say, but M had to do a powerpoint presentation about the many sticky situations glue could solve.

Devon has a terrible solvent abuse problem (Undisputed fact of the day) and M prefers his Cream tea done the Devonian way, Cream first, jam on top.

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And, someone is cutting the ivy from the trees, this is a new thing, of which I thoroughly approve.

 

 

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