A-Z Challenge: My Theme; Adoption.The letter C.

A-Z challenge 2018

Charity:

In this case NORCAP which was for adults affected by adoption, unfortunately this charity ceased to trade on January 14th 2013. I am forever in their debt.

I’d like to reiterate this is my experience, and these are my opinions which I am happy with, if anyone disagrees then that is fine.

A good friend of mine was adopted and was able to find her birth family, a wonderful thing for some, and not so for others. Sometimes a resentment creeps in between the adopted child and the Biofolks and things don’t work out.

I spoke to my friend about my want to pursue my past, which was largely unknown, save for a folder in my Dad’s filing cabinet, which at that point I hadn’t seen, but was painfully aware of. My friend told me to talk to NORCAP, she worked for them as a volunteer and acted as a mediator between the adopted and the biofolks, should their paths cross. This would happen under the careful guidance of NORCAP who specialised in the outstanding detective work needed to connect an individual’s connections. These people had skills way beyond mine and knew which buttons to push, which organisations to call.

I had a mediator assigned to me, whom I was interviewed by, in their offices in Oxford, way back I can’t remember when. Mrs T came with me and after a tearful but liberating meeting in which I was asked questions not many get the chance to be asked, we got back into the car, and drove west stopping off at a cracking boozer for lunch and a couple of pints next to a river populated with inquisitive ducks. During the months that followed drips and drops of information came my way from the wonderful NORCAP and my contact, and this ultimately paved the path to where I am today.

Unfortunately NORCAP no longer exists, but they laid the foundations. Charities are shutting down all the time due to budget constraints, taxes, other financial and governmental issues. Not a scientific poll, but it seems to me the charities that survive are the big ones; the ones that can go on the TV, or shame us into supporting them on the streets of our towns, he who shouts the loudest, Maybe.

I was fortunate, and I’m sad NORCAP is gone. I’ve still got a fridge magnet.

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More information as to my adoption will be in subsequent posts; problem is I don’t want to repeat myself by getting into things in too much depth as I may blow a letter further into the challenge.

It’s a confessional and a game! Blimey its almost reality TV!

10 comments

  1. I’m really impressed that you figured out a way to turn this A-Z challenge into a continual story. It’s like every day you are writing another chapter of your book of life.

    It’s interesting how our memories work, isn’t it? I’m talking about the ducks you saw that day. And you remember them until now.

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  2. I can’t wait to read the next installment. My father was adopted and unfortunately, the state he was born in won’t unseal the records. So I’m trying other avenues.

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  3. This is such a great topic and really hits home for me. I’m also adopted. I was never able to find my birth parents although I tried. They didn’t put themselves on the registry. I finally accepted the fact that they may not want to reopen that chapter of their lives.

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    • Hi Elsie, I’m really glad you’ve got in touch, I am going to try and tell part of my story and really this has only come about because I started to blog in January as an excercise in self improvement, I want to improve my writing. I followed a few folk and this A-Z thing came up. As I’ve previously mentioned this is my experience and it isn’t alphabetical but I’m trying to make it so, to make it easier to follow!
      I may try later to put if all out in-some sort of order. It would be lovely if you wanted to read what else I’ve got to say, it may be a pile if horse s*** but it might not.
      I live in England and I think that it is much harder for a parent to find their kid than it is for a kid to find their parents if you know what I mean. I’m sure there will be a way for you to find your folks, it won’t be easy and it may take time but I think it might be worth it. It has helped me.

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