I will clear al of this up, I will help everyone out chronologically but tonight is not the right time, I have been out with friends and so my efforts to de-confuse you may re-confuse me.
I’ve thus far spied on my new prey, eyeing them up and trying to work out their feeding habits amongst other things. I knew nothing of these people, and the web site I used to work out who was there didn’t specify if folk had come, left or lived there. It could just be a list of people who had been in the house. And then it came, all of a sudden, I found a Biodad, I found a Biomum who had passed away, I found a Biosis and I found a Biobro. Both of these had partners and Good god, I also had Bionieces and Bionephews. I had Biograndparents, the parents of Pam, alive and old but well enough.
From my humble family of just 3; Mum, Dad and me and occasional dog, suddenly I had loads of them. I’d never had to remember a birthday of a child, Mum was in charge of that. I’d never had to remember the birthday of a brother or the birthday of a sister, now I was in charge of that. It was a shock and I think as time has accelerated i’ve got much worse at it. Let alone the birthdays of the nieces and nephews, i’m absolutely terrible at it all. I have to remember the birthday of my Biodad and the anniversary of the death of my Biomum, which I have as an alert on my laptop. Problem is I’m at that age where I forget stuff.
I now have
a) A family of M and J and a wider group of cousins, uncles and aunts, nieces and nephews who brought me up and cared for me, nurtured me, taught me right from wrong and gave me love, a moral compass and a great education.
b) My new Biofamily who for the sake of argument and this blog I haven’t met yet. I’m trying to build a time line for goodness’ sake! (spoiler alert; They’re a great bunch!)
c) A family of school, university and continual life friends with who I have both dived into the icy depths of strangeness and peculiarity and with whom I have also barely scratched the surface of the Lifeberg I am a part of.
d) Most importantly my family, a biologically produced and nurtured, genetically connected group of people who live under the same roof. 14 years ago, when my daughter was born, I had no concept of this and it was the first experience of this for me! Imagine that, non adoptees.
e) Finally a group of family members who are no longer with us, I remember you all.
So aren’t I a lucky bugger!