June 8th 2018

Incredible, undisputed, uncorroborated fact of the day given to us by C. The lead singer of Black Lace, sadly no longer with us, died in a terrible accident whilst pushing and shaking a pineapple tree; it seems the pineapples fell, and well, the rest is a tragic history, the awful Agadoo song became his undoing.

Another question posed this morning I think again by C is Can you squash a watermelon by sitting on it really hard in the first instance? Go on try it, but put some plastic sheeting down so as you don’t spoil the patterned dining room carpet.


Theres a new blue faced man in the forest, I wonder how long he’ll last before some feral junior thieving what not (swearing toned down to protect the innocent) asks his or her Dad to reach up and steal the little man? We will wait and see, I’m not a bottomless pit of these figures you know, I can only nick so many from my son before he starts to notice their absence. We took a photoshoot of the three amigos today too, the idea being their reflections would pick up in the puddle, it didn’t really work but here it is for posterity’s sake, if this blog is somehow preserved, somewhere. Everyone knows it’ll be in the cloud, but nobody knows where the cloud actually is. Thats a question for all the techies out there. Answers on a stamped addressed envelope to

Theministryofshrawleywalks (all one word), The Cloud, The World.

I’m sure the Royal Mail will have some sort of inkling where it is, as many people must use the address. I pay £2.49 a month so as I can use the thing, and I bet I’m not the only one. It must be massive, it’ll be a Cumulo Nimbus I reckon. In which case Air mail will be the only way to send it.


As well as talking and putting the world to right every day, we also act as custodians of the woods, (in our minds) and thus sometimes have to pull rank as far as natural selection and population control is concerned. About once a month we walk around the woods, especially during nesting season, with long sticks, (there are many all over the woods, very easy to find), and we look for nests with chicks in which we can knock so a proportion of the chicks fall to the ground. It is then that these chicks are left either to learn to fly very quickly or face a grizzly death by fox, weasel, stoat or another carnivore; on this occasion it was Hattie, fortunately Misty came to the rescue of the bird and we left her to an uncertain future. Taking care of a fallen chick is not a good idea, they aren’t resistant to out coughs and colds and they don’t enjoy being cooped up in a box with only a few small holes to let the light and air in. That’s solitary confinement for all you ex jailbirds out there (no pun intended) and I doubt its any fun at all. M rescued a pigeon chick once and it turned on him, he still bears the scars.


Unfortunately Nature can be cruel, but maybe his Mum was watching and will come and rescue the little chap, he was pretty well disguised and we could see no nest but then again we are 4 people with a combined age of 188; 2 of us wear glasses, the other 2 are in denial.

This weekend I am going to my Brother’s 40th birthday party,  friends of ours are opening up their pop up pub for the weekend, and we are camping over in the field next to the River Teme. I imagine the party will get completely out of hand and someone will not be feeling their best on Monday, so I’ve made sure i’ve got an easy day. Plus my daughter returns from China, (Hello followers/ readers in China!) and so we have to be at the school for 10am Monday morning, so best not take too much Crackling Crystal Methylated Spirits, or whatever the youth get into these days!!

No readers you can rest assured it’ll just be beery hangovers for me next week, I wouldn’t want you to think I’m irresponsible and take the power of the Blog away from me.

So may I wish anyone who has a birthday this weekend a happy day and I’ll see you next week, unless I’m brought home crying on Saturday night by the headmaster.



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