July 20th 2018

Who’d be an assistant manager? No sooner have I employed a resident botanist and general Nature expert, that I seem to have been neglecting all things green and vibrant  and the tangled lives of M, N, C and D.

So here goes; in no particular order so don’t look for the narrative, there may not be one, but there might, it depends on how things develop from here. I think we’ll do it in list form interspersed with photographs, and I’ll warn you now, there is one photo which may shock, it may disgust but the more romantic of you may get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. The fact is the two protagonists are going to have a month of these shenanigans as they will be cohabiting in a kind of Air B&B (Breakfast and Bonking) first for 2 weeks chez D, then for 2 weeks chez C, as we cover for each other.

So yes, the 2 dogs have been engaging in some heavy petting, some may say Dog Porn, and without putting a jinx on anything, i’d say Benny is far too young to supply any life giving seed to Hattie. Imagine the size of their ears!

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This shot is specially for my friend N, he stands head and shoulders above any of us in the Ministry regarding his expert knowledge on the supernatural and the unexplained. I took this photo on a walk this morning; just me and Benny, I had to go to work early, which really got in the way of my routine and when you get to my age a disruption in routine can put one off kilter for the whole day, equilibrium needs to be restored but I’m unsure as to when this may take place. The school holidays have started and so the dog walkers become slightly more engaged in the maintenance of family due to the schools closing for the summer and thus baby sitting duties. C is going abroad to the Med, N mentioned he will be decamping down to Devon some time soon, N told us he may be going to take a week off soon and we are going to Sveti Vlas (sweaty arse!) That’s my little joke, if anyone has been please let me know what its like, not the sweaty arse, the place in Bulgaria.

C spent her last day with the shitty estate agency today, she’s got a few weeks off and then she starts with a nice estate agency, Hooray for C, lets hope its a good move. Just to let you know, if you are reading, we at the Ministry voted 3-0 for you to move!

Once again the little childrenny types have pilfered the lego man, we’ve replaced him with a beetle, a dung beetle, a dead dung beetle (see earlier blog posts for Latin beetle name provided by Dr S.). Who ever is stockpiling these humanistic plastic fantastics will be laughing on the other side of their face next time they come to burgle. Oh yes, we have your number you little shits! fullsizeoutput_1489

Back to normal. The Oilseed Rape is being harvested, so in the imminent future the boys M and N will be meeting C&D at the normal place again for the beginning of the walk after a hiatus of walking down the road to meet us at the bus stop where we dispose of the children for 7 hours of free childcare, with the aim to increase the knowledge of the world. They’ve been at it for 2 days now so should all be nearly done (the harvesting).

They’ve got a psychic at the pub next week, I think I’m going to go, I really want to be told what my future holds and then just sit on my hands and wait for it to happen. The bottom line is, it is £12 for a meal and a pint and 15 minutes of private psychobabble with a lady behind a curtain, dressed in a tasseled headdress and holding a crystal ball while covered in Tarot cards, and reading palms with several Phrenological heads scattered amongst the tea leaves. “I see a suitcase, do you like the ballet, I sense the letter F, etc etc.” I think it’ll be a hoot. N was up at the pub last night, he doesn’t really drink, he had 3 pints! This morning, which was C’s final walk before she left her job both D and N could not accompany the crew, and I think N will accept that I apologise to both M and C for our absence today. N looked pretty rough!

The ground is really dry, but it has rained today, the stone illustrates the dryness, the Tangy Toms probably have never been this close to a real tomato, maybe thats why they look cross. I ate both today and honestly, truthfully, I think the base for a chilli should be made with Tangy toms. I love the way the corn snacks stick to the rear of your teeth and the roof of your mouth. Just remember to give your teeth a good brushing tonight kids, if you do happen to consume the corn based fruit.

With rain comes new life as the weeds re-adjust their underwear and push themselves skywards in the pursuit for height, I hope all my friends here have lovely holidays and enjoy the summer break if you are in a summer break, Australians; it’s your winter so enjoy the snow. Time to cook, interesting times ahead this weekend as I go to visit the most antiquated company in the world, i’ll have a fax to sell next week, if anyones keen check out my e-bay page.

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