July 24th 2018

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N ran down the field with Misty this morning, that was the only difference. But since N has been coming down the field to meet us, the Hattie and the Benny stand and sit, dead still and wait. They wait until Misty is close enough and then they jump up to pester her. She growls at them, then growls at the feet of N. N tells her “Go away” and then the walk continues with the younger dogs hassling the one older than them; Benny hassles and dry humps Hattie (she likes it), Hattie runs and jumps at Misty’s mouth and try to steal sticks (Misty isn’t so keen on that). Misty then runs and growls at N’s feet and we all smile thus the circle of dog walks is completed.

There was a massive pile of animal sick or animal shit on top of the stile step into the woods today, I had to work fast to prevent ingestion. Are there no bounds to the revolting behaviour these dogs won’t go to?

Met a nice guy who drove all around his massive garden today in a 4 wheel drive mobility scooter, he called the Land Registry c***s! A bit harsh I thought.

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I thought i’d start a new piece in my blog, it might be called

“Aahh, so that’s how you do it”

or

“I’ve been doing it wrong all this time, what an idiot I must have looked as my friends laughed at me behind my back”

or

“Stools for Fools”

or

“Too cool for stool”

I prefer the fourth one although it might be slightly niche, we’ll see. If any one has any lavatory habits, good or bad, please call in or sent an email to

Teresa.may.priminister1@hotmail.com, she may get that or write her a letter at 10 Downing Street, London, WR128QT. (I think that maybe the old Pebble mill at 1 postcode). So we shall see how this little featurette goes.

After clearing out the acorn antiques of the financial investment world at the weekend I turned this thing up, its got a pedal, a microphone, some headphones and a tape player. The power works, I think I need to rig the whole system up in order to look anything as technically attractive as the bloke in the picture. Ladies like the one next to him will be crowding the streets for miles around and pouring into the woods where I’ll be popping off for a bit of harmless extra curricular dictation.

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Got myself a new Can t-shirt today for my holidays which made me think of this!

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