Quick, stop the clock. I’ve started writing at just before midnight which is a bloody pain as I should be fast asleep, but a good evening has been had and so the tardiness must be accepted. If you’ve read this far I’m sure you’ll forgive.

I love my job, I don’t love the company I work for although I love its product, I volunteered this week to become an advocate for the company; to spread the good news, like some sort of Gideon’s bible pusher who really is only in it for the girls. I had had a few glasses of wine/ beer/ gin (you choose) and as soon as I had volunteered I realised i’d done the wrong thing. I will tell my friends about the company I work for and all the really cool stuff they produce, because it remains supercool which ever way you look at it, cooler than any other company’s similar product world wide, and that is a fucking fact, hands down this is real news.

But over the years the company has been wearing us down, the workers, as I’m sure happens all over the world in similar situations.

I don’t know if any one else has Flexi-time, which used to be time we pretended we’ed worked and then would add to out week’s hourly tally and then piss off early on Friday (POETS day, Piss off Early Tomorrows Saturday). Some people took the piss, but this was before computerisation and so was all held in a ledger and no one really knew or cared what the figures were as long as the job was done. Then Flexi-time was invented.

Gradually through the sands of time the time need to complete the job quickly has increased and so the amount of flexi-time has risen substantially, so some folk have amassed 50+ hours of the stuff. Problem is there is no time to take the flexi and so it just builds up and up.

Just last month the company, who shall remain nameless but may be discoverable if you look back through my unindexed, unhyperlinked, unorganised blog. read the whole thing if you’ve got a holiday to read it next to the pool on. Fact is, it is much more racey than the Jackie Collins Biography and certainly far more interesting.  Last month my company decided to tell us that the maximum amount of flexi-time we can build up per month is 15 hours or 2 days, if you go over then tough, suck it up and loose it.

We are working for free, and our shower of a production manager doesn’t do anything in our favour; consequently many of us have lost flexi-time to the darkness. The conversation followed.

“After yet another late finish and flexi hours disappearing into the ether following HQ rules that must be obeyed, I have decided to use DARK FLEXI (no T&C’s). A unique system relying solely on the abacus.

Nice, I’m just 10 minutes from finishing and will be tapping into Dark Flexi

I’ve been using Dark Flexi for years due to manager reality issues, its an open secret that shall not speak its name.

There is of course ANTI-FLEXI if all the dark runs out, we can’t see to but know its there. It makes up most of the flexi store.

Is that where the spare resource is hiding?

If only we could catch the stuff.

And if the worst comes to the worst, event horizon flexi can be taken, which is usually turned to just before disappearing into the black depths of retirement and before reaching the new Sunlit Uplands of Life”

Heavens above, what the fuck is going on?