Friday Fictioneers: Humpty

Thanks to Yvette Prior for the photo prompt this week, doesn’t look dissimilar to my student flat many years ago!

Friday Fictioneers; Humpty

Mr Dumpty fell in to a deep depression after his accident, and after seeking professional medical attention found himself fixed but unable to work, signing on weekly at the labour exchange.

The Kings horses and men came to visit during his convalescence and were not at all surprised to find him indulging in his new two favourite pastimes; smoking and masturbation whilst watching Heartbeat and reruns of Countryfile on day time television.

“Just goes to show the egg came first” joked the kings men

“Always was a rotten egg” they added.

“Eggsactly” they chuckled as they left his flat.

99 Words this week! Sorry its late, I’m in Bulgaria, its hot and the beer is interrupting my flow


  1. Dear Shrawley,

    As has been pointed out, the Nursery Rhyme never said Mr. Dumpty was an egg. Because illustrations have depicted him as such, we assume. A little like Adam and Eve. Who decided the fruit was an apple? Nowhere is it written as such. Just saying. Nonetheless I enjoyed your pun-tiful take on the prompt. You made me laugh. 😀



    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hilarious but I had to reach for the smelling salts when you mentioned what he was going IN FRONT OF HEARTBEAT and COUNTRYFILE. Lawks a-mercy, I never heard such a thing, I truly never did. Brilliant fun story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hah. I think with ‘couldn’t put him together again’ an egg is quite fitting. Or maybe he’s made from glass or porcellain. This was fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So funny and so clever. And reading your comments, I suddenly realize that no, it was never stated that Mr. Dumpty was an egg. And I must admit, the visuals prompted by your story made me wonder . . . 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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