April 2nd 2019


Things have all of a sudden got a little bit racey in the Woodlands of Shrawley. As C and myself walked into the woods to meet N and M with the dogs for a rainy day walk, we were met with these kissing gates, 2 of them (there’s another one, just take my word for it, but C seemed to be the most photogenic). I may even start a new feature; “Cover Star of the week” this week it is C, theres 3 others so we may well all appear 12 times over the year. If the many of you who print these masterpieces out can take photocopies then maybe you could make your own calendars of your favourite protagonists within the ministry.

Just a thought, we’ll see how this one pans out! It could end up to be just another silly idea, and as I approach the ripe age of my latter mid 40’s then I may suggest that we all just calm down a little.

The incredible thing, and many would say obvious thing that happened when we nearly walked past these kissing gates without noticing them, were it not for C and her eagle eyes, was that although the fencing between the posts is not up yet and so free access can be taken at any where along the line of posts, we both chose to walk through the kissing gates, N did at his too but M (the renegade) walked straight past. Make what you will of that “M People” maybe that’s why his fan mail bag is bulging, some like a rebel stuntman.


The recently ignored monument, monolith, art exhibit has received a new lease of life thanks in part to the people who ripped up the old fence which prevented the woods leaking into the field, and prepared a new framework to keep the woods in, the stock fence will be going up soon I should imagine and the woods will no longer have the ability to roam free in the surrounding fields, they will have to remain in the woods, like the dinosaurs on the island in Jurassic park, trapped and definitely unable to negotiate a kissing gate, especially for the sharper eyed, you might see a potential tripping hazard to the entrance to the kissing gate, a horizontal bar at floor level. This will at least persuade people to pick up their feet a little and not shuffle about so lazily, children take note.

So the art work has an new hairpiece, a piece of rusty iron found in the place where the old insubstantial hedge fence combo was. We’ll see how long this one lasts.

Today we talked about red wine gargoyles and minotaurs or Mini Tours as C insisted they be called, M then mentioned that the cats bought in a decapitated mouse full of mini rats inside; upon reflection we discovered it was either an enormous decapitated mouse and or very small rats within or finally it was decided that it was ants he was talking about but we were walking down the “doesn’t matter” or the “don’t really care” path running down the side of the field.

M was persuaded to take this kissing gate route out of the woods and there were cries of “I can do it, I can do it” (repetition) as we started to bunch up a bit at the exit and helping felt like the done thing, we must stagger our exits in the future, maybe we could have some sort of mantra, maybe we could borrow the little rhyme from the Shaw Taylor road safety advert, which incidentally I still remember, like and ear worm, and yet no longer use as I love to tail gate;

“Only a fool breaks the two-second rule” the inference being there should be at least 2 seconds between the car in front and yourself at all times; well when you are moving. Look how should I know, the road safety course was years ago?

More fun and games tomorrow folks, this is certainly an earth shatteringly exciting time for the Woodland Folk.

You must check out Ulrich Schnauss, here he is below


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s