July 18th 2019

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Ministry matters. An awful lot has happened since I subconsciously turned this writing blog into a photo blog. I know, it took me by surprise too and was not what I was aiming for, I know you lot want to hear of the trials and tribulations of the 4 walkers and their dogs in Rural Worcestershire, I mean who wouldn’t with a strap line like that.

I’ll start with things the way I remember them, not in any particular order, just so nobody gets ideas above their station.

  • C&A, (not the shop), have recently looked at a new house with a swimming pool, the party house where they will not be left alone, with folk forever bothering them to ask for a swim, they would be the proverbial fish in a bowl, unable to have a quiet family dip without someone diving in. But it looks ace, 3/4 of an acre and loads of bedrooms. They are making offers on the house unsure as to if one or either of them like it. The issue we on the ministry have is as follows: according to the laws of the walk, if a founding member decides to leave they are forbidden to do so unless they find a suitable replacement. This replacement must be fully vetted; the remaining members must spend a week in Crete with the potential alternative person, paid for by the member who intends to leave. If the holiday, sorry, interview, doesn’t go well then the replacement can be denied access to the Ministry and the person intending to leave will not be allowed to do so. Told you it’s a fucking cult, C will never leave! Imagine even thinking about it, the issue is that none of us could afford to pay for the interview process, so I guess we’re all knackered. C you are irreplaceable. And the Wichenford Walkers just sounds ridiculous
  • The artwork installation at the entrance to the woods, which has been standing for nearly 18 moths, in various states of completion and development, has completely disappeared! Gone, not a trace is left, all the hard work we’ve put into that. We thought it was the kids, they were the tea leaves who time after time took the lego people to add to their collection or the cheapskate parents who stole what wasn’t theres to give to their brats. Well, this time it has gone too far, this is art theft akin to the theft of “the Scream”, I would not be at all surprised if I discovered the various pieces of metal cropping up at Sotheby’s or, perish the thought, The Antiques Roadshow.
  • There will be hangings, stuffed creatures will be hoisted up into the branches, and left to ward off interlopers. We don’t like this art theft and we will not put up with it.

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  • My son had his final assembly in the local church hosted by the head mistress and the vicar who is always hammered in the pub whenever I see her, there again so am I probably; she’s a good one. Turns out my son wants to be and architect and his friends want to be food critics and own their own brewery amongst the other more noble acts of being nurses and vets, etc, one wants to be a stock broker FFS. Aside form that they are an amazing bunch of 26 kids, going on to the next phase in their young lives, I shed a tear and made a note for my son to keep in touch with his mate B, who’s going to run his own brewery.
  • Mrs T has today ordered an electric car; a Tesla T3, looks like a space ship, and when I first saw it I asked my self why all new cars don’t run on electricity and look as good as this inside and out? I know not a great deal about cars, but I’d liken seeing the Tesla to seeing the first iPhone, all those years ago. A much needed game changer, ironic how it takes an entrepreneur to swing the governments policies and legislation on fossil fuels and renewables going forward.
  • Extinction rebellion seem to be doing a good thing, D Trump is totally lost the plot, he has the air of a senile old man, having a pop at everyone remotely different to him and his awful followers. On this side of the Atlantic we’re probably in the running to have Boris as our next PM for Christ’s sake. Neither situations are in any way satisfactory.

Thats it, nothing else to report, M missed a couple, N missed one, myself and Mrs T are on the 5:2 diet, eating less than 500 calories two days a week, this went very well until the Thursday is over and then you realise you’ve got 4 full days to binge eat, drink and behave badly, coming down to earth with a bump on the following Tuesday, and the whole rotten pattern repeats itself like being in a hideous David Lynch movie. On the plus side, we are eating a lot of salads and staying away from the carbs, in an effort to gain “Beach Presentability” whereupon we shall put it all back on when the holiday gets underway and return heavier than we were before hand. This can be described as “One of those things” I can’t see anyway around it.

Heres a shot of the church where my youngest received a presentation bible and a “totes emosh” send off, I took my eldest’s presentation bible to the charity shop only a few weeks back, and only on Tuesday this week did I realise this was the case. She’s my little atheist, so she is; always questioned the fairy tale.

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