While the world around me falls apart, I have found my sarongs, so panic over everyone.  The environmental emergency still stands but, and I thank my God (not the fairy tale one, the real one, with the beard) that all will be well for the foreseeable future with Boris and Donald at the helm with the gimp Nigel to fuck their egos (arses) to steer us (the entire human race) into calm waters, where everything is plentiful and cigars are still rolled on the thighs of virgins (Mars).

This year when I fly south east to Turkey I can now rest easy that my privates will not be subjected to extreme chaffing whilst I strut around the pool, Pina Colada in my hand. So with a hearty huraugh i’ll bid you goodnight,

“Here’s to Nelly, God save the Queen”