August 1st 2019

Pinch Punch.


As if a trip to Ikea, constructing all said Ikea furniture, and painting and decorating my youngest’s room ready for his birthday on Saturday isn’t enough, bear in mind I’ll have to go back to Solihull to change some shorts I purchased for my Turkish Odyssey, seems the shrunk in the bag on the way home or my waist line has expanded. Which is highly unlikely given i’m on this starvation diet at the moment. I weighed my self yesterday, seems like I’ve put on weight. I’ve gone from 12 stone 7 and 6 to 12 stone 8 and 0. this is an outrage that in one month I have crept up, i’ve assumed its all muscle and put it to the back of my mind. If I convert my weight into kilos then the picture seems far more rosy as I have snuck in under 80kg at 79.6, I think. I don’t know if this is good as Ive never understood weights;  Stones and their associated numerics have always meant more to me. Anyway from this day I shall be measuring myself in terms of Kilos, I’m going metric weight wise. I went metric length and size-wise decades ago and have thus far avoided weight, well who says it s too late to change? In fairness there’s less numbers to remember with kilos, so there it is, welcome to my Unintentional Weight Gain Diet.

Recently the carpet pictured above appeared on the landing outside my study, and along with my weight gain I seem to be the only person in the house who has a problem looking at it; it seems to move around and pulse continually, the zig-zags zag-zigging as soo as I get a glimpse of it. It hurts my eyes, am I insane, am I ill? Why does it tire me out? A morning trip to the bathroom becomes like an acid flash back from all those decades ago on Anjuna beach at the Shore Bar, my balance is troubled, my eyes rendered useless as the floor ripples and the walls cave in. In the winter, Mrs T and myself will be swapping work areas; I shall be moving downstairs to the hall way and the desk under the stairs and Mrs T will be moving upstairs to the newly decorated study, this will be done in the autumn months. I’m thinking of stealing something to pay for a log burner in the hall way, to keep me from freezing over the winter. But at least the LSD rug will be out of my field of vision, strange how it works, reminds me fleetingly of the dress which went viral on the internet as to wether it was blue or gold, I don’t want my rug to go viral, so Ill tag it viral rug and see what happens.


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