August 14th 2019


In the absence of any finches today and yesterday, I told you Finch of the Day would be short-lived, I’ve decided to drop the feature. I am, after all, editor, director, chief exec and writer of this particular rabble and as such have overriding power to do anything I see fit or unfit. In point of fact the bird count in Akayaka is relatively low around the town, this could be because of the proliferation of cats, if the teachings of Tweetie pie and the Puddy Cat are to be believed from my youth spent watching cartoons (good ones) and test cricket (good ones, the 5 day type). Cats chase and eat birds, Fact of the day, and dogs chase and eat cats; second fact of the day. However there are a number, a large number of dogs crawling all over the town too, possibly strays. Last night we saw a lovely dog who we thought would fit nicely with Benny at home, a sandy coloured one, a ring to Benny’s yang. Truth is and seems to be the cats and dogs do very little in the way of running around and chasing anyone, the cats dart around momentarily but for the most part just shuffle about looking for somewhere to sit in the shade, not dissimilar to everyone here. I’ve seen one man exercising in the park, no runners and a few swimmers, but the swimming seems to take the easy half floating option or the occasional burst of a few lengths and then a almighty whale like sigh once finished, then the swimmer decamps to the sun bed and flops like a wet rag doll.

I went back to the paddle board man yesterday to pay the money I owed, and asked how much the paddle boards were again, this time they’ve gone uptown 80TL per hour session. Fuck that, we were going to take 7 out, but the price and his inability to recognise a sale and repeat business when he sees one has put pay to that. This is a massive shame and the biggest disappointment of the holiday for me.

So I’m to start a new feature which I think may have legs, thus far i’ve found 2 different ones, Phone Box of the Day. In Britain we’ve the classic red phone boxes, but most of them are now defunct, used as places to swap books, sell eggs, piss in (no change there) to take laughing gas and smoke a spliff in, or to install a defibrillator saving lives by the people who have been trained in its use, very rarely does anyone know how to get into contact with these angels of life, so it goes.


So there you go, playmates, the end of this section, lap it up you suckers.

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