“I’ll tell you all about it some other time,” said the man trying to deflect all questions as to what the hell had been doing with himself for these past few weeks.
But great to see Rochelle still here, still keeping the Friday Fictioneers Fire burins bright, and boy do we need it on these freezing cold British nights, our house is like Greenland in the early evening when we get home from school and work. Thank you also to Dale Rogerson commander in chief of fun times, great photo Dale.
The minister of Shrawley (me) needs to put his memory Mitre on and see if he can come up with something pithy and entertaining so without further ado…
On My Marks…
Get Set…
GO!!!
Winter was a frugal time for benches. Varnish didn’t set near to absolute zero temperatures and any warmth from broad bottoms, pert posteriors or elephantine arses was sadly lacking.
People didn’t come for picnics in the winter, prickly cantankerous teens would rather chance a cigarette inside, rather than brave the unremitting cold.
When Park-rangers installed an infrared heat lamp the benches were seen to congregate underneath, before heading south for the summer when the snow melts, drifting and dancing down the swollen river to wash up at some holiday park beach.
Such is the transient lifecycle of the migratory bench.
There we are 100 words on the nose, the life of a park bench, fully fact checked.
The Count Of North Clifton 
Ah, here you are. Uniquely you;. Fun and fancy. I like it.
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Loved the fancy of migratory benches
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Thanks, I saw the benches and they looked liked wolves circling without my glasses but couldn’t think what a predatory bench might have as it’s quarry, so migratory it was and a little less messy!
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They’re clever, aren’t they? You never catch them moving, but they do. I wasn’t aware that they migrated, though. Can’t say I blame them.
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Like the Gary Larson cows in a field cartoon, they all stand on 2 legs chatting until a car comes then they all get on all fours and chew the cud!
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Dear Shrawley,
Migratory benches? There’s a concept one doesn’t often consider. I’d migrate, too, if I could. 😉 Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, and happy new year if I haven’t mentioned previously
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I particularly liked “elephantine arses” – I’ll have to remember that one 😀
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Every time I sit down I remember that one!!
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Fun! Well done to the park rangers for caring 🙂
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Love what you saw in the prompt.
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Thanks Iain
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How on earth you came up with this I can’t imagine, but I’m so glad you did! Brilliant.
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Thank you Keith!!
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Just as I suspected, benches going south in search of warmer bottoms. I am afraid the benches around here are concreted to the spot – well if they left I am sure they would not return. I would leave, if only I could get this chain off my leg.
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Oh dear poor you, I bet the benches do move, you just don’t see it!
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these are benches that truly hates to be benched. fun story. 🙂
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What a lovely phrase – “broad bottoms, pert posteriors or elephantine arses”! I liked your comment about cantankerous teens, too – very true to life.
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Thank you Penny
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A rather fanciful story! Well these benches certainly make for an interesting documentary that is for sure!
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I’ll be laughing over “broad bottoms, pert posteriors or elephantine arses” for a while yet 🙂 So funny.
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Why thank you! Too kind.
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What fantastical fanny descriptions! Who knew they migrated? No wonder you can never find one when you want one! Fun stuff, Shrawls!
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Fanny means front bottom in English, we don’t speak of this unless the lights are off.
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Ahh. Here the fanny is the posterior 😉
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I know! It’s mad!
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Haha!
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A story told from an inventive point of view, I like the sense you create of people’s habits in winter
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The Alternate Universe of Shrawley Walks, and an entertaining place it is.
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why thank you very much, try being me and you’ll see its not that entertaining!!
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😦 sorry to hear it. No offense meant, Shrawl.
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I’m only messing around! None taken!!
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YAY!
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