Spring is on the way, I’m hearing birds in the morning and the Croci and Snowdrops are out, there’s probably the smell of spring in the air but right now, I have the inabliity to smell anything at all aromatic, for some reason the saturday drinking session has given me cocaine nose, you know when you get a spot, and angry under the skin really tender explosion which will go white, I will pick it, get a scab and the whole skin reparation process will take fucking ages. I’ll get a cold sore too, thats a good month for conception, gestation, explosion and healing. And this is all because I went out on Saturday night and drank some strong beer, unknown shorts and failed to have a curry which was half of the point, the climax of the evening. As it was I disappeared from the taxi and hid in the housing estate we had been taken to. My god that sort of behaviour is so last century I think to myself now as I check the tender nose rumblings.

I would like to reiterate that I did not have any cocaine, but the drinking excentuates the slight cold, i end up sniffing lots, the nose hets sore, the nose gets red and because I am run down, the spots appear, i’m nearly 50 FFS.

I’m worn out and worn down, after a big session. Monday I always come down with the fear. It’s not really the fear, the fear involves paranoia, but Mrs T insists it is the fear so I indulge her. Mondays like this for me instil enormous feelings of self loathing and stacked up worries for the future. I know it’s just a stage and soon it’ll be Tuesday and work can continue. Unless of course you’ve had a really big bender and the fear is still manifest, this is known as Fear Royale, only the toughest can get through this. As it stands I would not want to enter this stage.

My humdrum life, in a job I really enjoy, but am not particularly taxed in, so I’ve applied for loads of stuff, helping stuff, volunteering stuff, more stuff than I can shake a stick at and I wonder if i’m setting myself up for a fall, do I really want to apply for all this shit, do I really want all this responsibility? Seems like there’s suddenly and already a lot going on this year, trying to sell the house, trying to buy a new house which is suitable for my wonderful yet very demanding daughter, Mrs T is cool, she’s got a wise head, and my son will be ok, he’s popular, he’s funny.

I’m meeting Paul Newman tomorrow, not Butch Cassidy, just a man with that name and i’ve already joked with his solicitor about his namesake. Anyway, I’ve said too much already, this thing is meant to be anonymous and growing in popularity. Sometime this week i’ll try to offer you all 10 tips on having a mediocre blog with minimum traffic, but only attracting the quality followers, which is what we all want right, it’s not all about the money, we just wan to make the world dance and forget about the price tag.

Night night lunatics, lock the asylum and turn the lights off when you go to bed.


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