News today has my cells all of a dither as the grey matter begins to oscillate wildly with the prospect of the Juicer opening in April, April 12th to be exact, thats when the virus has told us that it will cease to be so nasty and will not target pubs because Christ knows, they need the customers back. Once he was a regular virus hanging out under the countertop of the bars and around the beer pumps, the virus knows how much, we the British, are missing the pubs. So he’s declared a ceasefire and will lull us into a false sense of security before deciding what to do going forward; To mutate or not to Mutate, that is the question. Gregor Samsa woke up to find him self turned into a giant bug, so strange things do happen, hopefully not in this particular case. But if the virus did turn into massive bugs then we could either crush them or race them in an effort to replace the ailing alpaca racing industry.

I imagine plans are already being hatched of how the hours, after being let out of an extraordinary long and tedious detention are going to be spent. Cruises are being booked, holidays and the singletons are going to be planning sexy times, as long as they are done outside with one other person in a public place and with a picnic.

So we’ll see, will the freedom of the Lion be granted before the builders have completed the snagging they promise day after day will be done. I’m not holding my breath.