Criminal? Moi? Episode 1.

I went to Leicester City Football Club’s Club Shop earlier on in the week when I had to visit the most antiquated family run property investment company in the world to debate wether we spend a little amount to invest or we run back into our mole hill and hide until the 21st Century passes us by; the immigrants go back to where they came from and Leicester restores the rag trade as to where it was back in the good old, fucking days. Which is how my folks would prefer for things to be.

This isn’t possible, we don’t want this, and you need to fucking sit up and listen, you and your racist views, and you and your draconian ways. Get rid of the doilies. 

 But they’re my folks so I should love them… right?

Getting back to the LCFC shop I popped in to buy a new strip; shorts and top, £62! That’s not including the socks, and so I didn’t include the socks because this would have escalated the cosy to unreasonable levels (in fairness they already were) and so I sidestepped the Leicester City, Mighty Foxes insidious plan to persuade me to spend a shit load more than I should have spent in the first place. Primark t shirts cost £3, they are probably made in a sweat shop in the developing world,LCFC shirts are probably made in a similar establishment, and I bet both torso wear are made by similar folk and I doubt there’s much difference in quality between them… that’s down to the football club or the everyman’s shop which has far to many mirrors.

£62! For Fucks Sake, its a lot of dough, but bearing in mind my folks don’t drive anywhere where there may be immigrants or foreigners who may mug them, we’ve come to an arrangement where I buy the presents for my son’s 13th and they give me the dosh. I don’t ask for it, it just happens that way.

I’m going to continue this in a kind of part 1 and part 2 type affair, because a) folk may get bored of this story and so they can check out now or b) there may be new comers to this and so they can avoid the first part just gone, and get right into the meaty stuff.   

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