If you can remember the party you weren’t there.

It’s been a long while since i’ve had a play at the FOTD by Cee, which of course stands for Fungus of the Day, as the whole country seems to be watching on as a government makes fun of breaking and bending the rules, I thought I’d rip up the rule book myself, there it is; a small fungus spotted this weekend on our daily yomp, the only thing that grows up here in the tundra of  North Clifton.

So in the past there have been parties which I have been to and have no recollection of being present, clubs I’ve been to, houses I’ve woken up in, gardens i’ve found myself snoozing on the swing seat, bushes I’ve emerged from blinking into the sunlight and sleeping policemen I have been escorted home from, by an actual policeman, thats another story, but you’ll have to ask someone else because I wasn’t there. Until of course the witness confirms that i was actually there and then of course i’ll agree to it. The reason that I have missed out on the finer details of such events was that I would have been utterly arseholed on a dangerous cocktail of whatever booze there was to drink in the house or off my head on some sort of recreational pharmaceuticals, more than likely a little bit of both. This is a very important point when I try to differentiate my situation on failing to remember an attendance at a party and that of the man supposedly in charge of our country, who isn’t sure if he was at a garden party in the garden of his own house until a senior civil servant, Sue Grey, looks into it.

This is the latest in a disgraceful run of shambolic governance by this clusterfuck of a wretched group of men and women, making up the Tory party in England today. I met people like Mr Johnson when I was at school, entitled, selfish, making his way through boarding school by bullying those at a really base level, that level being money and connections. If you’ve got a smaller house than Mr Johnson and his degenerate bunch of friends; Fluffers to each others egos, spending obscene amounts of cash and showing off, that they can afford to spend the money. The constant belittling of everyone whom they believe to be beneath them, so ingrained into their personality, from a very young age. Eton does not breed gentlemen, no sir/madam, Eton churns out the worst kind of Porcine men, snouts in the trough, trampling over everyone and anyone to feed aplenty slavering over the rest of us in the pursuit of riches. It doesn’t make them happy, just further accentuates the gap between us and them. So if not riches, then why not privileges, why not freedoms. Taking away our freedom during lockdown in order to save lives and protect the NHS, draconian measures but necessary, and they just threw it back in our faces, having parties in 10 Downing Street during these bleak times, God knows there’s probably hundreds of parties undiscovered in manor houses happening all over the countryside during lockdown, we just don’t know yet, but we do know, don’t we?

The past years have been especially catastrophic in politics, with scandal after scandal, Christ MPs would have been locked in the tower for less in years gone by, and I’m not advocating capital punishment, well nothing more than Tarring and feathering the whole lot, taking their money and giving it back to the NHS. Its amazing how there has been such a  delay in dealing with these charlatans who wave their arms about and patronise us with their platitudes while sticking the V’s up at us in our face. Hidden in plain sight, Brazen. Johnson with his cronies, moving like a murder of scavenging crows pecking at one of their own squashed onto the road, none of them willing to speak up against their chuckleheaded leader, a man of terrible character, no question. The only question remaining is how can any of these subservient fucks survive when Johnson has gone? They’ve voted for him and stuck with him throughout this shit show and so are seen to think exactly like him. 

Destroy and accumulate; the mantra of the “Fuck Decency, Fuck Morals, Ethics, Foreigners, Decent Working People, The NHS, Cohesive society, Fairness” Tory Party of today.

I am sick of it, we are the global laughing stock, until maybe tomorrow when surely things will start to unravel for the Prick who cant dress himself suitably in a suit yet, maybe he’ll remember he was at the party rather than have his mates tell him he was and he tried to snog Lynn Truss.


  1. I don’t want to say this in defence of what has happened in Downing Street (that email inviting people to BYOB was pretty condemning), however, I do sort of wonder if there are other places of work that may have had similar situations. I feel as if perhaps during the Pandemic, in some respects there were two types of situation amongst those working – those who had to stay at home to work, and those who had to carry on going into work, the NHS and private medical facilities, supermarkets, post offices, banks, and other services or commercial entities that were considered essential as opposed to non-essential.

    I have been thinking back over situations that happened at work. Like at the end of a very long stressful exhausting day I know a manager who would sometimes play a song to cheer us up so we could sing and have a little dance. She did that to try and lift our spirits. On another occasion, a manager ordered pizza for everyone’s lunch to show appreciation for how hard everyone was working. At the time, it seemed fine, it seemed to be a good manager looking after staff who were at risk of burning out under the intense conditions and sometimes unable to buy lunch locally because of the huge queues and panic buying. But could others who were stuck working from home, not seeing anyone for weeks perhaps view that as breaking rules, having a pizza party, or a karaoke session at work? I still think what she did was a positive, she helped her team to endure pressures that were breaking our spirits.

    I think for all of us who had to carry on going in to work, it was easy to perhaps forget there were many stuck at home. For most of that time, we felt jealous, we wished we could be working from home. But it is so easy to see how people who had to work from home and were totally cut off from social interaction may feel very angry to think of people who were at work also having a restrained sort of social event on the premises of their workplace.

    I think one of the toughest times during the Pandemic was last December. On the 19th December, London was put into Tier 4, and for many of us, we knew that meant it would be wrong to visit any of our loved ones. The hardest thing about that situation was that we all had neighbours or colleagues who were blatantly ignoring the rules and going ahead with their plans. It was such an odd situation. I know there was a lot of upset around that time.

    I think that perhaps that one of the things that has provoked many people is that the original Pandemic slogan “we’re all in this together” seemed to ring hollow when as time went by, it was revealed that actually there were people who stuck to every rule and made every sacrifice and others who just seemed to pick and choose which rules they would obey and not care. It created ill feeling amongst people, which is sad, because we really needed to feel that sense of support, empathy and comradery. When that is lost it just seems to make a sad story even more tragic.

    I still want to remember that for many people, their motives have been loving, they wanted to do the right thing to protect the vulnerable. I am saddened that there have been incidents of carelessness, foolishness, callousness and haughtiness that have somehow become the main focus. I really want to think of the loving concern that prompted so many people to completely change their lifestyle for the sake of others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I take your points and very well made they are, but in order for a government to be respected it needs to be seen to be doing the right thing, and for the PM to lie over and over, lie after lie covering up the previous one really leaves a foul taste in the mouth. I think you are right that probably folk did once in a while break the rules and that is human nature I guess, but to tell us to not meet up with more than one person at a time, socially distance outside and exercise once a day and then less than an hour later completely ignore the rules is a pretty bad look. I am fortunate to work in the countryside and so during the first lockdown I spent most of it alone and then when I got home with my family, in the towns and cities you probably have more knowledge than I do and these sort of get togethers probably went on. I remember being terrified back in May 2020 queuing outside Tescos to do the weekly shop, getting in and out as quickly as possible but without being able to overtake anyone in the aisles. A really shitty time.
      It sounds like you had /have a really good couple of managers there who tried hard to lift folks spirits, god knows we needed that, and you are probably correct about these type of events going on in offices, but I’d say there were probably a load of folk who hated going into offices and just wanted to get home asap despite the promise of free pizza or whatever.
      Lets see where this goes, I think he’ll have to go, and I believe that all who have stood by him are complicit in the “cover up” supporting their “mate” wrongly.


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