The absolute brazen abuse of the system applied by our inglorius bastard of a prime minister is utterly wretched. He’s not attended business meetings in the garden, then admitted he popped in for 25 minutes, and everyone was talking shop whilst a Dj played Agadoo, a suitcase full of booze was stashed under the table, yards of ale were drunk, cans were shotgunned, whilst randy civil servants were cavorting on the swing; smashing the inappropriate love swing and scratching their privates in the process. Dope was being smoked, people were doing lines of coke of the Ministerial handbook as more drugs were dropped in over the wall by the Metropolitan Police Drone squad, the tills over at the Met Drug squad HQ making a healthy cha-ching as the confiscated drug cupboards were raided for the best party in town. As Johnson stood centre stage taking a hit from the Prime-ministerial Bong he motioned for the Dj to turn the tunes down and said,

“4 walls people, what goes on in Number 10’s gardens, stays in number 10’s gardens. Unless of course its the spliff ends, tin foil and Cocaine wraps, in which case, Cressida, you can take it away when you go and chuck it in the Thames, they can’t fucking touch us”

“LET US WORK!!!”

And with that the music was turned up and Gove emerged topless from the bushes, followed by Matt Hand-cock, gurning like a bastard and doing up his flies. Lets be honest the Tory party and the Prime Minister are complicit in this deception and yet I can’t find any people who actually believe anything that comes out of the lying Pig’s wine filled mouth, and yet he continues to aver to everyone that he is totally innocent of all accusations and allegations. I’m really not sure who he thinks he’s trying to convince, maybe his Mum or his Boarding House Master. I truly hope he falls on his sword and I am prepared to go to Twitter jail once more for professing that we should tar and feather the man, and chase him down the streets of London, and send him off to Pitcairn Island with the rest of his blindly following chuckleheads to rot with a minimal audience for ever in perpetuity.