I was First…and make no mistake

 Amongst the chaos, amid the compassion, Europe, specifically Eastern Europe, and Western Europe, and some parts of the Mediterranean Coast and Eire and probably Iceland and Scandinavia, have all doisplayed the best of Humanity. Ukrainian families taken in, without question, of course, which we in the UK would also do, if only our government would make it as easy as the rest of Europe. Whichever colour map you look at Britain is the opposite to the rest of Europe, and that makes me ashamed to be British. Travelling in Asia, folk used to innocently inquire if I knew David Beckham when I told them I lived in Manchester.

“No I don’t; and I wore a sarong way before he did” I replied.

But despite having a better taste in Music, a better bunch of mates, having much more fun over the weekends and having longer weekends due to us being able to swallow (irresponsibly, don’t do it kids) countless nameless drugs and him being chained to the ice cream float of weekend fun, he ended up owning an American soccer club and I ended up with a crippling vinyl habit. Who’s the winner here, eh…?

I should imagine, if harried, most people would probably come down on the side of Beckham, which wouldn’t be a problem as he’s loaded and could probably afford to throw his tracksuits away if he befell such an accident. 

And so, in the spirit of completely forgetting what I had started to write about, and then trying to claw some semblance of authority back, I’ll say.

“And let that be a lesson to you”

Stare at you sternly, turn the lights out and walk upstairs to Bed (fordshire) 

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