Now this isn’t going to be an angry rant, and if it were then I know you’ll probably ask me, “well what have you got to be cross about anyway” and what the hell can I do about this issue in the first and second instance? The problem I’ve got, and its been festering rather than brewing, for some time now, is what I see as a complete lack of leadership.

We can all be armchair managers, and back seat drivers, we could all run the country better than this bunch of chuckleheaded charlatans who force their way into our lives via the media on a daily basis, there seems no end to their persistent vomit stench through their putrid patronising proclamations, everywhere I go, the nasty niff of mysogyny or barely cloaked racism, of class war and levelling down and of environmental broken promises; saying one thing and doing another. Broken and rotten, like a perpetually stifled fart. Thats what I think of the Government, and thats probably obvious so I won’t labour the point but what I want to ask is this…

What happened to management at work?

I work for a production manager and he is answerable to a senior manager who probably looks after about 4 or 5 production managers who each manage the production of about 15 minions (of which I am one) I’m not going to say who I work for because they get a bit shitty over disparaging social media posts, this is a blog but I suppose its the same sort of thing, so if anyone knows please don’t let the cat from the bag, and guessing will not bring forth answers either. I’d imagine this sort of thing goes on all over the corporate world and so i doubt i’m in any way unique. Anyway here it is, the world of management as I see it.

My production manager, i think, is meant to manage my production, ie to tell me when and where I need to work for the sake of efficiency and, as someone very cool once said, “the maintenance of headway”. This is the sort of system I’d probably agree with in so far that his or her job title kind of gives it away, so i’d expect every week or so for my PM to say to me, “Would you go and do some work over there please?” And then he may give some sort of   approximately reasoning as to why, and what for. This would then give me some context for what I am doing and might make things a little clearer going forward (picking up management speak bollocks is really easy, see I just did it there). What actually happens is my manager encourages his staff to speak to each other to work out how we can divide up the work we have to do for the month. Except his encouragement to us is pretty passive in that he doesn’t tell us how we should divide up the work amongst each other, so for my money he’s not really managing my production or anyone else’s for that matter. Theres several of them and so I’d like to call them each “Passive Executive Delegator of Ongoing Shit” or “PEDOS” as an acronym.

But they’re not the problem, they earn a little more than us, but get it from both ends; we constantly complain to him and then I suppose his senior manager is constantly badgering him to kick the arses of us. Its a shitty stick to be beat with and that extra few thousand to rat on your mates (It’s not for me) But like politicians, or like the answer they love to give when asked what they entered politics they say they “Want to change things for the better” but when your strings are firmly held by those above you I suppose theres no way to make these changes, they may talk a good game to get you ensnared in the net but even a live wire once trapped will find no way to make a positive change, and so will probably leave despondent and return chastised back to the factory floor as it were. The vim and vigour removed to be replaced with laziness and disappointment.

My old senior manager, the one with tiny dead button eyes, left because he finally realised the emperor was naked and has faded into retirement, with a handful of whispering staff at his leaving do for the free sandwiches and maybe a couple of free pints, before immediately forgetting the man, as he sinks into retirement fatigue. Not physically avulsed more extricated from the management house of cards, as his pokey little unpleasant face didn’t fit anymore. So we’ve got a new one. And he’s got more of the manner of some one showcasing a new piece of tech, but has no idea of how the tech works, just what it does, or what he’s been to ld to say it does. He sat at the back of our meeting, watching like a hyena, trying to work out the trouble makers, or the people who dare to speak up, anyone who may question the great leap forward which apparently my company is undergoing at the moment, indeed seems to be mid flight with the floor rapidly disappearing beneath, a chasm of uncertainty, a gaping maw of darkness. But as with politicians of today, the way seems to be to ignore the problems lining up, and pretend they aren’t there. So when he tells us his name and then says but you can call me “X” chimes obviously of a person desperate to put forward a human side with hobbies and likes just like me and you, but I think is a bit of a twat. He comes across all friendly and tells us to not just say to him “This is Shit” but to say to him “This is Shit, and here’s what I propose to improve the situation” But when theres no money to change anything, and when senior management don’t listen to us anyway, and when they have signed up to a project which must succeed at all costs, then to offer any probably solutions as to how one might remedy any situation, even if suggested in good faith will of course be fruitless and so ultimately keeping quiet is the sanest option. Banging ones head against the wall of management mediocrity is a waste of time. And so in the last few years the style of management is not to offer any encouragement, not to try to motivate, not to offer solutions for our woes within work. Its a strange thing, I was always lead to believe a manager should be a leader and respected and that is why they are there, as a doer, but this present crop looks to be a pretty bad year and peppered with fungus which seems to nullify any sort of good deeds, going forward (done it again) 

So I stand at a really dull crossroads, where nothing seems to happen, and no one seems to pass, when did managers become so ineffectively shit?  Maybe just do nothing and deny everything.

I blame the government.