The 0.5%

It’s hard to ignore our politicians despite a majority of the cabinet being as interesting as soil and engaging as wallpaper. But sadly for all of us at the moment, our arsehole of a parliament is turning in on itself with Liz Truss at the centre; the brown eye, intent on staying despite being possibly one of the most unpopular people in the country at this time; I think Rose West had a more appreciative audience. Yep the country is in trouble, this ridiculous PM voted into office by approximately 0.5% of the total electorate due to a glitch in the Tory party mechanics where the replacement PM of the deposed mop headed bag of custard one, we dare not say his name, is decided by the party faithful, 150000 people who hold membership cards. One of those card holders is my Mum.

I was over there last night and today waiting for a smart meter to be fitted by British Gas, who once again, the second time arranged to meet at Mums house between 8 and Noon and once again didn’t turn up, only calling up after the event to tell me there was an emergency. Utter bullshit from where I’m standing, and I told them so, mentioning that maybe a recently bereaved wife 85 years old might be considered to be a priority. Fuck them, I told them we don’t want a smart meter, even though it would make my life simpler, I organise the bills and stuff as Mum is computer illiterate, and deaf, so telephone conversations are usually loud and intense and often tenuously linked too what my original request to her may have been, and invariably i have to give up and agree to drive over to sort it out later, 160 mile round trip, which is nice.

Mum voted for Truss, and between cups of coffee while she sat in front of the telly at 100% volume, I was outside ripping an enormous creeper off the side of the house, I took my chainsaw over such was the thickness of the tendrils burrowing into the 200 year old brickwork. Its been a long project which began in the February after Dad died and I reckon Ive demolished 2/3 of it now, with various breaks for nesting birds and times when Mum refused me to climb up the ladders against the house as it was making her nervous and she wasn’t bothered at fetching it all off at once. To me that seemed the most sensible option, just get it done, then we can move onto the next project. So Today I had to watch the new chancellor, the 4th in as many months, deliver a very important speech to the nation, in a room in 10 Downing Street specifically designed for that, dramatic and very head of state. It felt like he was auditioning to be the PM, then in the Houses of Parliament Truss didn’t show up and so someone else spoke for her, answering an Urgent Question, so called. She too sounded like she was auditioning to be the next PM too. Everywhere you look prospective candidates are lining up to stab Truss in the front, whilst looking deep into her eyes. Shameless and rotten, the state of the Tory party. Firmly deluded that everything that has gone pear shaped is because of someone else, and our health secretary wants to repeal a proposed law banning smoking in cars which contain Kids, humans not small goats. And all the time, the decisions made by the PM have screwed up the mortgage industry spooking the markets and raising interest rates massively adding an average of £many onto peoples mortgages, those who aren’t lucky enough to be on a fixed rate. And so with people potentially losing their homes, or facing rent increases as the interest rate hike hits the buy to let landlords, food banks and heat banks poor run down suburbs of Portsmouth a far cry from Sand-Banks, and all the while stories of woe issue like vomit at 100% volume from the telly, and Mum keeps an eye on the exchange rate £-$, and the FTSE, “Oh they seem to be Alright”

But sadly, and really, my Mum and 80000 other party members are pretty obviously in the dock and all culprits complicit in the election of this terrible Truss, responsible for real life disasters unfolding every day in every town and village across these islands. The Overwhelming Tory focus is on the numbers, rather than the populous. And that makes me sad. Sad and too angry to talk politics in the house, I think she thinks she’s done something wrong, but, like Truss, hopes it will pass and things will get better, the politics of delusion.

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