Lunch was filling, really delicious and i’m not used to taking a starter and a main so I guess it should not really come as much of a surprise that when I was sitting in the back of the car hurtling down the bendy roads from Clifton towards the relative calm of the motorways, I ended up feeling a little nauseous and really hot, my back on the cusp of sticking to the leatherette car seats.  We were taking my Mum in Law to the airport to wish her well as she dodged the high heating bills, the endless governmental bullshit and the collapse of the economy and we see everything around it fall into the economic Super Nova. I also never really sit in the back of my car, because it is, well, my car and previously shotgun is probably the least senior I have been within the motor. I’d say that arriving home in need of some sort of soft furnishing to collapse into I wasn’t at all surprised either to discover my son watching

“I’m a celebrity get me out of this cash generating self promotional juggernaut”

And like Heartbeat with Nick “fucking” Berry, this programme has Matt “Mediocre” Hancock starring, and for that reason I cannot watch it. Mediocre Matt was the health secretary at the height of the Covid crisis, and in order to make space in hospitals he sent lots of pensioners with covid back into their care homes, this is called “A Protective Ring” and its main function was to spread Covid throughout the British Care Home system like many wildfires. Or at least thats what I think the aim was. I mean who could be so stupid to send highly contagious individuals into care homes where many of the most vulnerable individuals in society reside. I mean what is the worst that could happen?  Seems Mediocre Matt probably had the Protective Ring Instruction Booklet the wrong way round, but then again Johnson was reported to have said “Let the Bodies Pile High”, so maybe Mediocre Matt was just doing what he was told.

Anyway the offshoot is I cannot and will not watch anything that man does in my lounge on my telly. He’s being paid £400000 to appear on the show, and what he wants is forgiveness, what he wants is for the people who lap it up, to, well, lap it up, like a herd of deranged sickly cats, he wants to form as many connections with the insane members of the population who will watch this self flagellating drivel and after desensitizing the population after however many weeks of Hancock water torture, the populous will probably say, “Ah well he fell in love, he’s not such a bad bloke” And they’ll forget about the 1000’s of unnecessary deaths, and the setting up of really important PPE contracts to his mates, his publican who can’t even change the pipes who probably now owns a chain of pubs called “The Good Doctor” and the “Night Nurse” the irony being they can’t afford to drink there because Mediocre Hancock fucked it all for them.

People will forgive him for leaving his partner rather blatantly by getting caught snogging an aide in a lift, in the full view of the public, without a thought for his kids, without a thought for his wife. But he fell in love, and thats all ok, because he fell in love and because he fell in love and blah blah. Swallow the rotten semen lies he feeds and forgive him, I know I won’t. To have this man paraded in the Jungle as a kind of harmless twit as if he can be rehabilitated like a Burtons Howard Shipman, it’s an insult to us all and mostly to the dead and relatives of the dead. I learnt he was stung by a scorpion today, which sadly will pour more toilet water on the skip fire of his tenure in Government. Mark my words the public have a long memory but also a short memory and sadly he will come out of this smelling less like shit than he went in, and he’ll probably earn a bit of money off the back of it. It’s awful, he should be in prison rather than on a pedestal, people shouldn’t be laughing at him, this is no kind of revenge, this is his publicist telling him that the people will forgive you if you eat some pig’s anus rather than fucking some pig’s mouth as another prime minister is alleged to have done.

These people are governing our countries you morons and its time to wake up, ITV made, I think, a bad call booking this tosser

“Lest we never forget” should be how me think of his tenure as he opened up the dressing up box and played as Health Secretary; Mediocre Matt, as he is plunged into the seven circles of hell