Week one of the training course nearly done, and so far I’ve worked out that the walk from the bar area where the floor is wooden (probably laminate) to my room, down a carpeted corridor is slower from bar to room rather than room to bar. Could be a few reasons for this, either its uphill from bar to room, or i’m in more of a hurry to get from room to bar. Scored a PB of 1.16:44 last night coming home from the bar. Tonight 1.16.77. But last night I had to do the journey 4 times as the plastic electronic key didn’t work so had to walk back, call the grumpy night manager for him to reauthorise my key, been here 4 bloody days, that makes me a native of this place. The corridors could give the ones in the Shining a run for their money, and make no mistake… But this morning, with the wind behind me, and a hunger for a small cooked breakfast I knocked about 9 seconds off, 1:07.67, ducking for the line. Remember this is only walking, and as normally as is possible.

Another strange phenomenon; one of the trainers loves carrots, specifically Lidl ones, not ones from the ground, fresh,  but ones which come from large bags, and she delights in teasing us with the poser as to what do we think she does after the training and before e dinner in her room? Munches down between 3 and 4 carrots, she’s got a grater, and a bin full of peelings. Plus she gets a special bowl of the raw peeled veg at lunch time, A la carte, not on the conference menu.

So its been going badly, no sooner do I think I understand something that something else crops up that I don’t; confidence in the group is all over the shop, like death by a hundred cuts or stumbling all over a bouncy castle shaped as a rustic boozer. I get it, I don’t get it. This is what I’m faced with, I demand some sort of rebate for dragging myself out here, with an absence of Christmas presents, in the bag or Santa’s sack so to speak. I’m going to have to stop off at the awful Swindon Outlet place on the way home tomorrow, before I hurl myself out of my ground floor window into the frosty bush outside.